Archive for June, 2007

In blackest day
In brightest night
Beware your fears
Made into light
Let those who try to stop what’s right
Burn like my power…

Five reasons why the DC Universe is fucked:

1. Sinestro(see above pic)

2. The Sinestro Corps

3. Kyle “The Corps’ Torchbearer” Rayner otherwise known as ION was captured. ION, being the living embodiment of Willpower was literally sucked out of him, and was replaced by the living embodiment of Fear..

PARALLAX

4. Guess who just broke out?

Yep, it’s our favorite emo supervillain, Superboy “Retcon Punch” Prime!

5. And of course, the ringleader

The Anti-Monitor! THE ANTI-FUCKING-MONITOR!

In GL Recharge, it took the entire GL Corps to push a sun into some stupid spider world. And here we have the Anti-Monitor, who has not only destroyed an infinite number of suns, but the universes that accompanied them. Parallax, who pretty much destroyed time at one point. Superboy Prime, who…punched reality and pissed a lot of nerds off. Hank Henshaw(Cyborg Superman), who…was viciously dismantled every time he tried to do anything(he’s still a threat though). And Sinestro with his Sinestro Corps, accompanied by the manhunters.

So many GLs died in this issue alone, before Parallax, Superboy Prime, Henshaw, and Anti-Monitor joined, that I can’t fathom a logical way for the GL corps to win, aside from WILLPOWER OF OVER NINE THOUSAAAAAAAND!

In other news, Countdown #44 is again ‘meh’ and Amazons attack and Wonder Woman #10 fails so much, I remembered why I don’t read Wonder Woman books in the first place.

Oh and I just got new speakers today, now I can disturb the neighbors better Yay! Too bad I’m broke again, oh well..I’m always broke on Thursdays anyway..

So they finally did it. DC finally succumbed to the fans’ constant bitching and KILLED BART ALLEN! WHAT THE FUCK DC!? WHAT THE FUCK!?

Yup, Flash numero quatro bit the dust. I was NOT happy when Bart became The Flash in the first place, but I was willing to give him a shot much like I have the new Blue Beetle. Though it was not the most memorable debut(ok, it was shitty), I was starting to grow to the idea of Bart as the Flash. People didn’t have a problem with the idea of Bart as The Flash; him taking up that mantle had been predicted ever since he first appeared. The problem was how it was handled. Bart’s entire personality was retconned by the stupidest plot device imaginable and then when he became Flash, the first nine issues of his book turned out to feature some of the worst writing DC produced in years. Thus the fans’ bitching about killing him and bringing Wally back to ’set things right’. But once a good writer (like Guggenheim) who actually understands the character (as opposed to the the shitty OYL stories that came out) got on the book, people began to warm up to the idea of Bart as Flash pretty quickly. But then DC listened to the angry fans killed him, so much for that. Smooth move DC.

This makes me wonder what was the whole point of making Bart the flash in the first place if all it was for this. ‘Lets rape one good character for the sake of another lol!‘ This totally makes all the Flash-related stuff that happened during and after Infinite Crisis almost as pointless and as useless as what was done to Wonder Woman.

BUT WAIT!

A little glimpse at JLA#10 shows us this:

Yup. Wallace Rudolph West(and family) is back! And just in time too!

Before Infinite Crisis, we had Wally as Flash and Bart as Impulse, and it was good. The formula worked. Both characters were great and both were loved by the fans. Then they had to fuck with it, and had to come up with some shitty method to try and fix it.

Admittedly, Bart went out like a man saving thousands of lives, and in a different context I would actually be applauding this as a good death issue. But the way they brought back Wally at the exact same time makes the whole thing feel sort of…cheap.

And at the and of it all Alex Ross will be sitting in a big leather chair, with a huge grin on his face and say…

‘…just as planned.’

DAMMIT DC!

Oh and this week’s Countdown is meh as usual. Oh well.

Smooth move DC.

I’m always broke on Thursdays. I was supposed to blabber about the F4 movie but I’m too lazy right now. Here it is in a nutshell: Galactus(or should I say Gah Lak Tus) is a cloud, Surfer CHARGED HIS LAZOR and shot his employer and Jessica Alba was just there to be hot.

On to more important matters! I bought 3 Marvel titles today(I ran out of money to get my DC stuff so I’m going back tomorrow) and wasn’t really satisfied Two of them are Tony and Amadeus Cho’s perspective on the events of WWH#1. Oh well, I saw Iron Man getting his ass kicked again, so I guess it was worth it.

Hulk#107: Cho contacts(via email lol) Hercules and Angel where they get ‘ambushed’ by SHIELD agents. They then went to see Namor to ask if he’s willing to help the Hulk. Naturally, he refuses but Namora does and joins them. So basically the Green Scar has the 7th smartest person on the world, a Demigod, a guy with wings, Namor’s cousin and a bunch of puny humans who are willing to help him. The question is, will he let them?

Iron Man #19: What Tony was doing while Hulk was beating the shit out of Blackbolt. Then, Iron Man getting his ass kicked. In his perspective! YAY!

See!

Captain America #27: Bucky steals teh Shield. The end.

Next Post: Justice League of America#10, Flash: The Fastest Man Alive #13 and Countdown week45(I hate Thursdays!)

Gonna play DoTA now since I’m broke lol.

A little post to celebrate the occasion:

I went to my local comic book store yesterday morning(Yes, I woke up early. Horrifying ain’t it?) and got the last copy WWH#1. And let me just say YOU’RE ALL FUCKED NOW! BWAHAHAHAHA!

*ahem*

For those who doesn’t know what happened to our green giant, here’s a little recap.

Planet Hulk in a nutshell:

After wrecking havoc and destroying most of Las Vegas, Tony Stark and Reed Richards put the Hulk into a rocket and shot him supposedly to a planet without sentient life. Shit happens, and Hulk lands in Skaar, a planet with plenty of sentient hostile life.

Thus starting the Planet Hulk series.

Red king dude enslaves Hulk into a life as a gladiator. Hulk wins many bloody matches and becomes wildly popular. Red king dude becomes afraid that he may have to give hulk his freedom due traditional laws, so he throws at the arena his latest acquisition: the Silver Surfer. Hulk beats Surfer, but refuses his offer to get back home. Hulk and his friends escape and started a rebellion. So Red king dude sent his bodyguard after the Hulk, a super tough hawt alien chick(who looks like Freeza). After fighting, Alien chick slowly changes her opinion about Hulk and her changes loyalties. Hulk made many more friends and allies, and launches offensive against red king dude. They do battle, Hulk beats Red king dude fair and square. Red king dude plays dirty again, pushes button, world is fucked. Hulk shows supreme awesomeness, flexes muscles and unfucks the world. Hulk is crowned new king of Skaar and takes hawt alien chick his queen.

Awesome, yes? Yes it is.

But then, the warp core on the the ship Reed and Stark sent him in detonates and blows away everything in sight, all while his last message of ‘We are doing this for your won good’ plays. Killing a whole millions his subjects and including his wife and their unborn hulk-spawn.

*recap ends here*

So he takes his warbound comrades and goes back to Earth. A little detour to the moon so he can beat the shit out of Blackbolt. You heard me, Blackbolt.

He’s even nice enough to give a warning for everyone in Manhattan to evacuate for 24hrs before he turns it to rubble. So Tony Stark steps in with his Hulk Buster armor, they do battle.

Then, seventeen pages of Tony Stark getting his ass handed to him by our you know who. Yes, half the issue is about Iron Man getting his butt kicked and I wouldn’t have it any other way!

YOU’RE ALL FUCKED NOW! HAHAHAHAHA!

Next post:

Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer(watched it today, here’s a spoiler).

PS. I’ll be in Hong Kong for 3 days, no post till Tuesday.

Hello and welcome to Comicgasm! This is my new blog and I’ll be talking about Comics. And Orgasms! Comics and Orgasms, the two most wonderful things in the world!

But seriously, expect to see me blabber about comics old and new, from golden age to the latest releases, and whatever that catches my ineffective eyes.

I’m more inclined to DC than Marvel, but I’m trying to catch up to it’s sliding timeline, but let’s not forget Vertigo and the Indie comics! Particularly, I’m a Batman-family fan(hence the Nightwing theme) and reads anything that’s related to Gotham(Blüdhaven included).

That’s it for now, big day for Marvel fans tomorrow! LET’S FIESTA!

CHIMICHANGA!

CHIMICHANGA!

CHIMICHANGA!

PS. EVERYONE’S FUCKED WHEN THE HULK COMES BACK TOMORROW!