Archive for July, 2007

1. Click this link: http://www.sectorseven.org/

2. Enter this password: Deceptibot

3. Curse/Praise Michael Bay

4. ????

5. PROFIT!

Damn you Michael Bay!

Our favorite Drunkard in a metal suit:

http://www.metacafe.com/watch/744740/iron_man_trailer/

EDIT: Apparently, Paramount hates free publicity, so if ever this clip gets removed again, just download the clip from either here or here. It’s a .flv file so use VLC player to view it.

And of course,

Batman: The Dark Knight:

http://www.whysoserious.com/
preview images:

Oh, and here’s a very lazy short summary of this week’s comics: The Amazons Attack arc is still sucking balls, I can’t believe DC thought this was actually a good idea/story. Countdown is FINALLY picking up, the story is interesting now, but it’s still nowhere near epic levels yet. And lastly, Hulk #108 is sorta meh, Rick Jones being useless as usual. Didn’t spend much on comics this week, blame the Simpsons movie(I have the Spider-Pig theme song! Wooo!) and randomly treating girls.

PS. Darksied is Awesome!

So…instead of blogging about the stuff I mentioned in my last post, I spent the last 5 days watching GaoGaiGar TV, Turn-A Gundam and Rahxephon. Thanks to Iñigo for lending me his DVDs, it’s his fault! Blame him! Yes, I happen to like mecha animu, hopefully I’ll still be able to get today’s comics and blog about them maybe.

Oh well, gonna marathon Rahxephon til the sun rises!

Blog about World War Hulk #2, Ghost Rider #13, WWH:X-Men #2, All-Flash#1, JLA#11, Countdown41, Amazons Attack #4, Black Canary #2 and Birds of Prey #108.

PS. Visit wallet at the hospital.

I wasn’t supposed to be doing this but certain people forced convinced me *cough*

So the last Harry Potter book is scheduled to be released 3 days from now, but being the evil evil bastard that I am, I got a leaked copy from a site I shouldn’t mention. It was rather hard to read it since the evil-er bastard took pictures instead of scanning the book.

Anyway here’s something for ya’ll:

HEDWIG DIES!

MOODY DIES!

WORMTAIL DIES!

DOBBY DIES!

FRED WEASLY DIES!

SNAPE DIES!

SNAPE KILLED DUMBLEDORE TO SAVE HARRY! JUST AS PLANNED!

HARRY DIED OMG!

HARRY TALKING TO GHOST DUMBLEDORE!

LOL JOKE

And of course, VOLDERMORT DIES!

Burbage, Scrimgeour, Tonks, Lupin, and Colin Creevy also died, but I’m too lazy to look for the pages where they died. Oh well.

I won’t ruin the plot(that much) so I won’t post it here(aside from Dumbledore and Snape’s plan), see I’m not THAT evil.

Of course, I have to put MOAR spoilers, so here they are:

At the Epilogue,19 years after the events in the book:

Ron married Hermione, their two children are named Rose and Hugo.
Harry married Ginny, their three children are named James, Albus severus and Lily.
Draco Malfoy has a son named Scorpius.
The epilogue shows all of the children boarding the train for Hogwarts together.
The final lines of the book are:”The scar had not pained Harry for nineteen years. All was well.”

I won’t be posting any proof of these just to be mean, mwahahaha!

PS. So how is this in any way related to comics? I dunno lol.

STOP IMPLANTING EVIL MUSTACHES ON RANDOM CHARACTERS DIDIO! DIDN’T YOU LEARN FROM BEECHEN’S RECENT STUPIDITY!?

(click thumbnail for full image)

ALSO, CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL.

Source of Image: http://kdingo.net/champ/pics/main.php

On to a slightly more serious rant, I recently read Batman Confidential #7 and I’m giving it to you straight: the writer needs to die in a fire.

That right there is the Joker talking to Harleen Quinzel(Harley Quinn) BEFORE either of them became psychotic criminals. Yes, this issue is about Joker’s origin. What’s so bad about that you say? Three words: The Killing Joke. One of the best Batman books ever that and until today, the only one that tells how The Joker came to be. The writer(Michael Green) was even proud that he remade the Joker’s origin because no other writer dared to do it before, maybe because it was good the way it was!? Sure it’s almost twenty years old but that’s not an excuse to totally remake his origin from a tragic accident to a bored douchebag.

Let’s compare, shall we?

The Killing Joke: One bad day/Tragic accident

Batman Confidential #7: Bored Douchebag

You be the judge.

I enjoy reading comics that has 15yr old girls as it’s target audience. I also enjoy lobotomizing people to read such comics. And I’m proud to say that I’ve converted two manly men into giggling teenage girls after forcing them to read SMLMJ. Yes, after reading this series, even Arnold Schwarzenegger would transform into a teenage girly girl, you’d stop growing facial hair and would suddenly have the urge to gossip! Yes, this is the effects of reading Spider-Man Loves Mary Jane!

And now I’ll do what I do best when I read this: I gossip!

Like OMG! I can’t believe Parker dumped Gwen and Firestar over that bitch MJ Watson! Gwen was so hurt, semen came out of her eyes!

I’m not mocking the artist, no I’m not!

*subliminalmessage*comebackmiyazawa!*subliminalmessage*

I’m sooo glad Firestar hooked up with Ice man though, they’re like sooo cute together! Ohmygosh! I’d pay to watch them have some steamy action!

*this is a reenactment*

That was TOTALLY worth it!

So MJ dumped Harry again(that bitch!) to be with Peter, Parker doesn’t deserve that red-head! I’d like totally die if Liz came after Parker, they’re like sooo perfect for each other! Poor Harry’s probably gonna get sloppy seconds from that slut Felicia Hardy, did I say MJ Watson’s a total bitch yet?

GAAAAH!

*reaches for Testosterone pills*

losing…y chromosomes…must not…gossip!

ARGH! IT’S TOO LATE! SAVE YOURSELVES!

I have no idea why I’m posting so soon but I completely forgot that I got Nightwing #134 and Countdown 43 2 days ago but forgot to read them.

Why can’t Dick get a decent security system in any of his apartments? His place has been intruded so many times before, you’d think he’d make precautions by now. Oh well. As for this week’s Countdown, most of it contains Bart Allen’s funeral, it’s not ‘meh’ as usual but not really outstanding. Oh well again.

And before I pretend to sleep and read Jack of Fables, here’s a random pic that both angered and amused me:

Good thing Batman’s plot armor deflected it to the Bat-Family instead!

…no wait

Damn you Dan Didio and your Make-things-worse Beam!

So Darkhorse finally published the winner’s own comic series written by the Stan Man himself.

Did someone forget there are alternatives to “origin for dummies” speak again?

Note that I’m certainly not mocking the amazing dialogue. Nope, no I’m not.

Seriously though, I think I think they intentionally made this into an experiment to see how many clichés and cheezy lines they could fit into a single comic. Oh well.

Oh, I’ve been slacking off on comics lately, still haven’t read Countdown week 43 yet etc etc. Oh well, I’m going back to re-reading Y, The Last Man and eating stuff I’m allergic to.

There are five levels to being a comic book reader. Try to see where you fit in.

DC:

Level Zero is where you think this is Manga. You need to kill yourself now.

Level One is where you don’t read DC and is only familiar with the big three, Justice League and Superfriends.

Level Two is DC Neophyte, where you’ve read a couple of issues of Batman or Superman and know that he’s Clark Kent or Bruce Wayne. You have no idea what the multiverse is and the thinking of the number of Supergirls made you epileptic.

Level Three is Average DC Reader. You know there’s been more than one Robin, you read comics other than the Big Three or Justice League members, and you know some facts about the past. You’ve encountered most of the crises and big events but is still somewhat confused due to all the retcon that happened.

Level Four is DC Fan. You’ve read all the Crises and Big Events (Crisis on Infinite Earths, Zero Hour, the Kingdom, Identity Crisis, Infinite Crisis, 52, Countdown etc) and actually understand what’s going on. You can recite all the Robins, at all the human Green Lanterns, all the Flahes and their secret identities. Hatred for DC’s Senior VP-Executive Editor Dan Didio is a requirement to be promoted to this level.

Level Five is DC Fanboy. The test to become a DC Fanboy is to understand not only Hawkman’s continuity, but also the Legion of Superheroes and the history of DC’s Limbo. You fully understand the secrets of the Multiverse, How the Golden and Silver age was handled and how every retcon affected the DC Universe. You have a dart board with Dan Didio’s face on it and you’ve read things like the entire run of Amethyst, Princess of Gemworld(All three volumes). You need to get laid. Fast.

I am only a Level Four DC reader. Not that hardcore, sorry.

Marvel:

Level Zero: See DC’s Level Zero.

Level One is the same as DC’s level one. You don’t read Marvel stuff but is familiar with it’s popular characters like Spider-Man and Wolverine. You have no idea who Thor is.

Level Two is Marvel Neophyte. You read one or two Spider-Man issues, and know he’s Peter Parker. Read a couple of X-Men issues and maybe Fantastic Four.

Level Three is Average Marvel Reader. You know that Spidey has more than one costume, bunch of clones, a hot wife and a hot sort of sidekick. You’ve read Avengers, and know who the Vision is. You have a working knowledge of the Marvel Universe. And you use a god damned hyphen when spelling Spider-Man.

Level Four is Marvel Man. You’ve read all three Secret Wars, the complete Infinity series (Gauntlet, War, Crusade, Abyss), and read things like Ant-Man and Alpha Flight. You somehow understand Marvel’s sliding timeline, the difference between 616, Ultimate and Zombie Universe and is secretly gay for Deadpool.

Level Five is the Merry Marvel Marching Society. The test is to first get the reference in the title itself, along with being able to explain time-travel in the Marvel Universe, who Satan is, the history of the New Universe, and the sliding timescale as it applies to the Marvel Universe. You read titles like Terror, INC., and Night Nurse. You know who the original Hulk was, and who the Original Human torch was and how superior he is to the current one ‘coz he killed Hitler. You need to get laid more than the Level Five DC reader, but only by a bit.

Sadly I am only a level Three and a Half Marvel reader, but that’s gonna change in the near future.

Vertigo:

Being a Vertigo Reader is a bit different from the Marvel and DC variations. Mostly because Vertigo books aren’t that popular but is equally(or more) awesome. Being a Vertigo reader only has two levels, binary in fact.

Level Zero: Vertigo Comics? wuts that? There is a special hell waiting for you when you die. You don’t want that to happen do you? Well get going and read Vertigo stuff so you can go to regular hell like the rest of us.

Level One: You recognize Spider Jerusalem as your one true Messiah. Meaning you’ve read everything you need to read that Vertigo made. End of story.

I am obviously at Level One. duh.

So what did ya get? Post ‘em in the comments!

Well that’s it, I hope this post enlightens y’all.

AND KNOWING IS HALF THE BATTLE!