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It was another normal day at the Marvel Bullpen. Brubaker was ranting yet again about politics while Fraction was intently listening, giving empathic noises while eating a large bowl of chocolate chip cookies. Whedon was, I dunno, slaying sparkly vampires or something. PAD was off looking for another character to turn gay.

Then the door burst open. Quesada waltzed in, with a big grin on his face. “Everyone!” he shouted. “You know that I love to fuck up everybody’s favorite comics. You see, I’ve already raped and pillaged our buying public’s childhood memories, and when everyone thinks I haven’t ruined comics enough for them, I found another way to shit on people!”

Everyone stopped what they were doing. They turned their heads towards the raving Quesada. “So, who wants to write this EVENT! comic? It’ll reboot the Ultimate Universe! And it won’t make any sense at all!”

Suddenly the room fell quiet. Everyone started twiddling their fingers while shifting uncomfortably in their seats. Finally, Bendis spoke up. “I dunno Joe, after I wrote House of M and Secret Invasion, I think I’ve gotten me enough death threats to last me two more years. I have to pass this time.”

Brubaker raised his hand. “Oh no, Ed, you can’t write this.” Quesada said. “I’m hiring you to write the good stuff.” Brubaker silently left the room, and you could actually hear a loud “DAMMIT!” coming from the bathroom. (continue reading…)

We interrupt your regularly scheduled mainstream comics for some VIKING CHICKS! That’s right, Welcome to the world of Northlanders. Where Invader is the preferred occupation and Rape and Pillage is their facebook.

Set in Northern Europe, this book is a series of 8-part arcs followed by 2-part short stories about the lives of the people in the different eras and occupations pre-1000AD.

The current 2-parter arc just ended with Northlanders #19; three Danish women, wives of vikings and last survivors of their village found themselves inside an old Roman stronghold after being attacked by Saxon invaders. Using their wits and what they’ve learned from their late husbands, they managed to hold off the Saxons by themselves until they found a way to escape. Girl power at it’s finest and bloodiest!

The first arc is by far, my favorite. It’s about an exiled Viking named Sven(with a name like that, how can you not like him?) and his battle to regain his birthright against his uncle, against the invading Saxons and his realization of what a Norseman truly is. Also, he’s one BADASS muthafucka.

It’s normal to see comic book heroes sweep hordes of enemies in one go, but they don’t have superpowers or batarangs at that time. Seeing regular people brutally murder and decapitate their enemies, mounting their heads on sticks to be displayed just makes me giddy(DON’T JUDGE ME).

This is Sven. Yes, he’s wearing a Stag’s head

(continue reading…)

Kids, don’t go around the world feeling way too smug about yourselves. Don’t pat yourself in the back too much. Remember this: you are not as awesome as you think.

Always keep in mind that Cyclops is the owner of a jetpack…

… and you’re not.

He’s better than you are.

[Thanks, Baddie, for that awesome image. Also, I'm just recycling jokes I used in Plurk ages ago. Don't mind me.]

In non related news: non-owner of a jetpack Carlo J. Caparas became a national artist. Insert ragetoon here.

Poozer (poo-zer)

1. (n.) Refers to a rookie of the Green Lantern Corps.

2. (n.) A word whose origin is unknown and insignificant except to geeks.

3. (n.) A word whose origin was thought to be lantern drill sergeant Kilowog… until Tales of the Corps #3!

Just when I thought I wasn’t going to buy any of the previous Tales of the Corps series, I read this one and it gave me that urge to buy the whole set. (Bye bye salary which I will receive tomorrow!)

Unlike TOC 1 & 2, this only has two stories and they both feature Green Lanterns: Kilowog as a ROOKIE (and where the word POOZER comes from) and Arisia as to how she was inducted into the corps. The “final” story here is a pencilled version of Blackest Night #0 with a director’s commentary. (If you are into the philosophical stuff DC has to offer like me, you will love the last part. Again Geoff Johns, is awesome.)

This is my favorite in the series and a fitting way to end it – and it gives us the “right mindset” in our approach to reading the rest of the Blackest Night arc.

I don’t see how I can add any more info without thoroughly spoiling it: So I’ll just rate it (hahaha much easier!) – 4.5/5 stars so GO BUY IT!!!

Guys. Just when I thought I was finished gushing over the Iron Man anime, Marvel pulls another fast one on us. I mean, come on guys, when will you stop blowing our brains out with awesome?

OMG *squee* YOU GUYS.

Okay, that Next Avengers: Heroes of Tomorrow movie sucked on so many levels (even though Bim liked it) I refuse to elaborate on it any further, but Planet Hulk I am sure to watch. How can they make Hulk punching aliens in the face suck? Please tell me you’re going to make World War Hulk, Civil War and Secret Invasion next. Pretty please?