Archive for September, 2009

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Hi guys. This is Ade here, reporting for Comicgasm. We just want you guys to know that we’re alive and all despite Ondoy, even after a few white-knuckle hours because our intrepid writer Fiel went MIA (he’s ok, FYI).

Anyway. I’m reporting that I survived Ondoy unscathed, with no property damage whatsoever. However, I can’t say the same for some of our countrymen.

Read the rest of this entry »

Hey guys, the reviews are back. I’m taking a break from my “pleasuring Comicgasm’s secret harem of hot and willing women” duties to take some time to actually read some comics and write a review.

By the way, if you haven’t heard yet, Comicgasm is a finalist in the 2009 Philippine Blog Awards! We’d like to thank our readers (both of you) and our mothers for constantly visiting this blog. And because we’re going to party like it’s 1993 after this review, I’m going to put on my YAY! face.

This is my YAY! face

Amazing Spider-Man #606

As usual, Peter Parker’s problems pile up and he’s all mister whiney mcdouche again. But it doesn’t mean we can’t sit back and enjoy and say “whew, am I ever so glad that shit isn’t happening to me.” Read the rest of this entry »

Apparently we made it into the finals of the Philippine Blog Awards 2009 <– Click here to see us in the list!

While I honestly don’t EXPECT us to win, I do HOPE!

Such is me in my blue lantern shirt:

But hope isn’t enough of course! Comicgasm would have never made it into the finals if it weren’t for us being awesome in one way or another. We sure ain’t gonna win if we just sit back and scratch our balls while staring at the sky as w usually do. Sure we delay posts 80% of the time – but really, what made us into the finals I wonder?

So I sought to describe Comicgasm and I learned that we are awesome because of a few things that we are. Some of these are essential truths that make up the fabric of the universe itself and cannot be defied! Deny them at your own cost.

COMICGASM FACTS:

-The name of Comicgasm was derived from two words: comics and orgasm. Therefore, whenever we post, someone has an orgasm.

-Contrary to popular belief, there is explicit nudity & visual sex scenes in DC, Marvel & Archie comics. Comicgasm simply chooses to keep those pages to ourselves. (See Justice League: Cry for Justice #2 and Archie #601)

- It is a well known fact that only three organisms in the world have pleasure when they have sex: Man, dolphins & Comicgasm.

- When Darkseid hits you with his Omega ray, you don’t die. You just Comicgasm.

- Chuck Norris counted to infinity twice – but only because he was trying to measure the amount of testosterone in Comicgasm.

- Superboy-Prime thought Comicgasm was stupid. Therefore the Legion of Three Worlds exists.

- DC & Marvel once disapproved a superhero idea inspired by Comicgasm’s awesome claiming the character was too powerful. Instead it was turned into a joke. We now know this as the Chuck Norris Facts.

- The modern Marvel comic book series no longer mentions the Infinity Gems. This is because Comicgasm has paid Marvel not to reveal where we get our awesome.

- Disney bought Marvel so they can finally have enough money to pay Comicgasm for Walt Disney’s cryogenically frozen body.

- The Nick Fury character was based on Samuel L. Jackson. The Samuel L. Jackson character was based on Comicgasm.

- The Green Lanterns recite an oath from the guardians. The Guardians recite an oath from Comicgasm.

- Comicgasm confronts the Guardians of the Universe with a Poke’ball and shouts “I choose you!”

- A member of Comicgasm has in fact met, sat down and chatted with Neil Gaiman – without knowing who he was. (and got him addicted to calamansi juice – see proof here.)

- When Alan Moore once got writer’s block in coming up with a character for his novel, he read Comicgasm. Inspired he created Dr. Manhattan.

- Comicgasm designed the costumes of Power Girl & Black Canary and hates the design of Wonder Woman’s costume – saying it ain’t revealing enough.

- When the Hulk gets angry, he gets bigger. When Comicgasm gets horny, he gets BIGGER.

- Comicgasm was supposed to be superhero – but we refused to wear spandex. Not because we don’t like spandex, but because we ALWAYS have a hard-on.

- Comicgasm won a hard-on contest with The Thing.

- Comicgasm won a staring contest with Daredevil.

- Comicgasm has retractable claws but no healing factor. We don’t need it. We like bleeding awesome.

- Comicgasm owns Dominic Ochoa’s long lost twin brother.

AND THAT’S IT. I finally know what lead us to this place so far!

If you have any more Comicgasm facts, pls pls COMMENT! XD

So the solicitation for this cover goes:

Written by ED BRUBAKER
Pencils & Cover by BUTCH GUICE
Steve Rogers has returned, but Bucky Barnes is the current Captain America, and has come into his own in the role. Will there be two Captain Americas? Will Bucky go back to being the Winter Soldier? What will happen? Decisions, decisions, decisions….

Who else thinks this will be one long “You take the shield Steve,” and then “No, Bucky, you’ve earned it,” repeated ad nauseam?

Know what I wanna see? I wanna see Bucky keep on being Captain America and then Steve Rogers taking over S.H.I.E.L.D. and kicking Norman Osborn’s ass through the streets of New York. And Rogers can basically rebuild the superhero community to pre-Civil War status quo.

Now that would be righteous.

So I just finished watching Superman/Batman: Public Enemies and I totally wish I could say it rocked on every possible level. I mean, I’m the easiest-to-please comic book fan in the world. Just look at me loving the shit out of Final Crisis while the entire internet exploded in anger and demanded for Grant Morrison’s head on a silver platter. Well, fuck you all, I still love Final Crisis that I want to impregnate it and shit.

But yeah, again. Superman/Batman: Public Enemies disappointed me on so many levels I don’t even know where to start. So let me just rattle off whatever I liked and didn’t like. And be warned, there will be spoilers. Read the rest of this entry »

Starting issue 38, a new Justice League of America will be formed. The team will be formed of Green Lantern (Hal Jordan), Green Arrow, the Atom, Batman, Mon-El, Donna Troy, Cyborg, Doctor Light, Starfire, Congorilla, and the Guardian.

Okay, what? This is probably the least iconic JLA I’ve ever seen. I totally loved the JLA lineup during the Morrison era, and understandably they had to give that lineup a rest. I also liked the Meltzer lineup as well, although I’m disappointed they disbanded that group way before they could be given great stories. Read the rest of this entry »

… hates karaoke.

BRB you guys. Real life caught up with me. Comic book reviews will return with a vengeance.

To quote this article from ComingSoon.net:

“Samuel L. Jackson has buried the hatchet with Marvel Entertainment, making a deal to play the role of Nick Fury in Iron Man 2, and potentially many other films.

Jackson’s deal is a long-term commitment to play Fury, the leader of the espionage unit S.H.I.E.L.D. His deal contains an option to play the character in nine future Marvel superhero films, efforts that are expected to include The First Avenger: Captain America, Thor, The Avengers, toplining a possible S.H.I.E.L.D. movie, and potential sequels.”

What say gentlement? Is this awesome news or what? HELL YEAH!

Dammit Matt Fraction, keep up the Black Widow/Maria Hill slashy innuendos.

Since I’m swamped with work and shit, I’m making this quick. Frank Miller’s Ronin is going to be adapted into a motion picture and it’s not going ala-Snyder by doing a frame-by-frame adaptation! Huzzah! I was getting sick of those frame-by-frame adaptations anyway.

Anyway, from CBR:

“Ronin,” the graphic novel Miller created at DC after his legendary stint on Marvel’s “Daredevil,” tells the story of a masterless samurai reincarnated in the hard sci-fi world of a future New York City. Mixing manga influences, cyberpunk stylings, heady philosophical themes and Miller’s signature brand of rough-hewn art, the book has long been in development as a film. Once under the purview of director Darren Aronofsky, things picked up for a “Ronin” film after White became attached in 2007. And while the director wants to remain true to the original story, he said that a project like “Ronin” would only be hurt by attempting to film it panel-for-panel, as Miller adaptations like “Sin City” and “300″ were done.

Can I get a FUCK YEAR?

Anyway, the film will be directed by Sylvain White, director of the… dance film “Stomp The Yard“? Wait what?