Archive for the ‘DC’ Category

1. Click this link: http://www.sectorseven.org/

2. Enter this password: Deceptibot

3. Curse/Praise Michael Bay

4. ????

5. PROFIT!

Damn you Michael Bay!

Our favorite Drunkard in a metal suit:

http://www.metacafe.com/watch/744740/iron_man_trailer/

EDIT: Apparently, Paramount hates free publicity, so if ever this clip gets removed again, just download the clip from either here or here. It’s a .flv file so use VLC player to view it.

And of course,

Batman: The Dark Knight:

http://www.whysoserious.com/
preview images:

Oh, and here’s a very lazy short summary of this week’s comics: The Amazons Attack arc is still sucking balls, I can’t believe DC thought this was actually a good idea/story. Countdown is FINALLY picking up, the story is interesting now, but it’s still nowhere near epic levels yet. And lastly, Hulk #108 is sorta meh, Rick Jones being useless as usual. Didn’t spend much on comics this week, blame the Simpsons movie(I have the Spider-Pig theme song! Wooo!) and randomly treating girls.

PS. Darksied is Awesome!

STOP IMPLANTING EVIL MUSTACHES ON RANDOM CHARACTERS DIDIO! DIDN’T YOU LEARN FROM BEECHEN’S RECENT STUPIDITY!?

(click thumbnail for full image)

ALSO, CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL.

Source of Image: http://kdingo.net/champ/pics/main.php

On to a slightly more serious rant, I recently read Batman Confidential #7 and I’m giving it to you straight: the writer needs to die in a fire.

That right there is the Joker talking to Harleen Quinzel(Harley Quinn) BEFORE either of them became psychotic criminals. Yes, this issue is about Joker’s origin. What’s so bad about that you say? Three words: The Killing Joke. One of the best Batman books ever that and until today, the only one that tells how The Joker came to be. The writer(Michael Green) was even proud that he remade the Joker’s origin because no other writer dared to do it before, maybe because it was good the way it was!? Sure it’s almost twenty years old but that’s not an excuse to totally remake his origin from a tragic accident to a bored douchebag.

Let’s compare, shall we?

The Killing Joke: One bad day/Tragic accident

Batman Confidential #7: Bored Douchebag

You be the judge.

I have no idea why I’m posting so soon but I completely forgot that I got Nightwing #134 and Countdown 43 2 days ago but forgot to read them.

Why can’t Dick get a decent security system in any of his apartments? His place has been intruded so many times before, you’d think he’d make precautions by now. Oh well. As for this week’s Countdown, most of it contains Bart Allen’s funeral, it’s not ‘meh’ as usual but not really outstanding. Oh well again.

And before I pretend to sleep and read Jack of Fables, here’s a random pic that both angered and amused me:

Good thing Batman’s plot armor deflected it to the Bat-Family instead!

…no wait

Damn you Dan Didio and your Make-things-worse Beam!

There are five levels to being a comic book reader. Try to see where you fit in.

DC:

Level Zero is where you think this is Manga. You need to kill yourself now.

Level One is where you don’t read DC and is only familiar with the big three, Justice League and Superfriends.

Level Two is DC Neophyte, where you’ve read a couple of issues of Batman or Superman and know that he’s Clark Kent or Bruce Wayne. You have no idea what the multiverse is and the thinking of the number of Supergirls made you epileptic.

Level Three is Average DC Reader. You know there’s been more than one Robin, you read comics other than the Big Three or Justice League members, and you know some facts about the past. You’ve encountered most of the crises and big events but is still somewhat confused due to all the retcon that happened.

Level Four is DC Fan. You’ve read all the Crises and Big Events (Crisis on Infinite Earths, Zero Hour, the Kingdom, Identity Crisis, Infinite Crisis, 52, Countdown etc) and actually understand what’s going on. You can recite all the Robins, at all the human Green Lanterns, all the Flahes and their secret identities. Hatred for DC’s Senior VP-Executive Editor Dan Didio is a requirement to be promoted to this level.

Level Five is DC Fanboy. The test to become a DC Fanboy is to understand not only Hawkman’s continuity, but also the Legion of Superheroes and the history of DC’s Limbo. You fully understand the secrets of the Multiverse, How the Golden and Silver age was handled and how every retcon affected the DC Universe. You have a dart board with Dan Didio’s face on it and you’ve read things like the entire run of Amethyst, Princess of Gemworld(All three volumes). You need to get laid. Fast.

I am only a Level Four DC reader. Not that hardcore, sorry.

Marvel:

Level Zero: See DC’s Level Zero.

Level One is the same as DC’s level one. You don’t read Marvel stuff but is familiar with it’s popular characters like Spider-Man and Wolverine. You have no idea who Thor is.

Level Two is Marvel Neophyte. You read one or two Spider-Man issues, and know he’s Peter Parker. Read a couple of X-Men issues and maybe Fantastic Four.

Level Three is Average Marvel Reader. You know that Spidey has more than one costume, bunch of clones, a hot wife and a hot sort of sidekick. You’ve read Avengers, and know who the Vision is. You have a working knowledge of the Marvel Universe. And you use a god damned hyphen when spelling Spider-Man.

Level Four is Marvel Man. You’ve read all three Secret Wars, the complete Infinity series (Gauntlet, War, Crusade, Abyss), and read things like Ant-Man and Alpha Flight. You somehow understand Marvel’s sliding timeline, the difference between 616, Ultimate and Zombie Universe and is secretly gay for Deadpool.

Level Five is the Merry Marvel Marching Society. The test is to first get the reference in the title itself, along with being able to explain time-travel in the Marvel Universe, who Satan is, the history of the New Universe, and the sliding timescale as it applies to the Marvel Universe. You read titles like Terror, INC., and Night Nurse. You know who the original Hulk was, and who the Original Human torch was and how superior he is to the current one ‘coz he killed Hitler. You need to get laid more than the Level Five DC reader, but only by a bit.

Sadly I am only a level Three and a Half Marvel reader, but that’s gonna change in the near future.

Vertigo:

Being a Vertigo Reader is a bit different from the Marvel and DC variations. Mostly because Vertigo books aren’t that popular but is equally(or more) awesome. Being a Vertigo reader only has two levels, binary in fact.

Level Zero: Vertigo Comics? wuts that? There is a special hell waiting for you when you die. You don’t want that to happen do you? Well get going and read Vertigo stuff so you can go to regular hell like the rest of us.

Level One: You recognize Spider Jerusalem as your one true Messiah. Meaning you’ve read everything you need to read that Vertigo made. End of story.

I am obviously at Level One. duh.

So what did ya get? Post ‘em in the comments!

Well that’s it, I hope this post enlightens y’all.

AND KNOWING IS HALF THE BATTLE!

In blackest day
In brightest night
Beware your fears
Made into light
Let those who try to stop what’s right
Burn like my power…

Five reasons why the DC Universe is fucked:

1. Sinestro(see above pic)

2. The Sinestro Corps

3. Kyle “The Corps’ Torchbearer” Rayner otherwise known as ION was captured. ION, being the living embodiment of Willpower was literally sucked out of him, and was replaced by the living embodiment of Fear..

PARALLAX

4. Guess who just broke out?

Yep, it’s our favorite emo supervillain, Superboy “Retcon Punch” Prime!

5. And of course, the ringleader

The Anti-Monitor! THE ANTI-FUCKING-MONITOR!

In GL Recharge, it took the entire GL Corps to push a sun into some stupid spider world. And here we have the Anti-Monitor, who has not only destroyed an infinite number of suns, but the universes that accompanied them. Parallax, who pretty much destroyed time at one point. Superboy Prime, who…punched reality and pissed a lot of nerds off. Hank Henshaw(Cyborg Superman), who…was viciously dismantled every time he tried to do anything(he’s still a threat though). And Sinestro with his Sinestro Corps, accompanied by the manhunters.

So many GLs died in this issue alone, before Parallax, Superboy Prime, Henshaw, and Anti-Monitor joined, that I can’t fathom a logical way for the GL corps to win, aside from WILLPOWER OF OVER NINE THOUSAAAAAAAND!

In other news, Countdown #44 is again ‘meh’ and Amazons attack and Wonder Woman #10 fails so much, I remembered why I don’t read Wonder Woman books in the first place.

Oh and I just got new speakers today, now I can disturb the neighbors better Yay! Too bad I’m broke again, oh well..I’m always broke on Thursdays anyway..

So they finally did it. DC finally succumbed to the fans’ constant bitching and KILLED BART ALLEN! WHAT THE FUCK DC!? WHAT THE FUCK!?

Yup, Flash numero quatro bit the dust. I was NOT happy when Bart became The Flash in the first place, but I was willing to give him a shot much like I have the new Blue Beetle. Though it was not the most memorable debut(ok, it was shitty), I was starting to grow to the idea of Bart as the Flash. People didn’t have a problem with the idea of Bart as The Flash; him taking up that mantle had been predicted ever since he first appeared. The problem was how it was handled. Bart’s entire personality was retconned by the stupidest plot device imaginable and then when he became Flash, the first nine issues of his book turned out to feature some of the worst writing DC produced in years. Thus the fans’ bitching about killing him and bringing Wally back to ’set things right’. But once a good writer (like Guggenheim) who actually understands the character (as opposed to the the shitty OYL stories that came out) got on the book, people began to warm up to the idea of Bart as Flash pretty quickly. But then DC listened to the angry fans killed him, so much for that. Smooth move DC.

This makes me wonder what was the whole point of making Bart the flash in the first place if all it was for this. ‘Lets rape one good character for the sake of another lol!‘ This totally makes all the Flash-related stuff that happened during and after Infinite Crisis almost as pointless and as useless as what was done to Wonder Woman.

BUT WAIT!

A little glimpse at JLA#10 shows us this:

Yup. Wallace Rudolph West(and family) is back! And just in time too!

Before Infinite Crisis, we had Wally as Flash and Bart as Impulse, and it was good. The formula worked. Both characters were great and both were loved by the fans. Then they had to fuck with it, and had to come up with some shitty method to try and fix it.

Admittedly, Bart went out like a man saving thousands of lives, and in a different context I would actually be applauding this as a good death issue. But the way they brought back Wally at the exact same time makes the whole thing feel sort of…cheap.

And at the and of it all Alex Ross will be sitting in a big leather chair, with a huge grin on his face and say…

‘…just as planned.’

DAMMIT DC!

Oh and this week’s Countdown is meh as usual. Oh well.

Smooth move DC.

A little post to celebrate the occasion: