Archive for the ‘lulz’ Category

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This image sums up all of the reasons why I love comics.

Oh hi guys. Remember the 90’s?

I honestly don’t know what spells the 90’s more than EXTREME! POUCHES! OMG BULGING! MUSCLES! BIG! GUNS! LITTLE! FEET! FLUFFY! HAIR! ROB LIEFELD! Read the rest of this entry »

Yes, the internet is buzzing with all sorts of praise for Geoff Johns’ epic masterpiece, Blackest Night. Imagine the amount of money DC has been raking in. So it’s really so surprise that Marvel is going to get into the act as well.

Blackest Night Captain America! Holy shit! The solicit for this issue reads:

Blackest Night: Captain America #1 of 3

Written by ED BRUBAKER
Pencils by ROB LIEFELD
Cover by theblast
50/50 Cover by ALEX ROSS

The Blackest Night proves to be more powerful than we thought as it starts its Secret Invasion of Earth 616… also known as the Marvel Universe! Bucky has survived his first major trial as the new Captain America, but what happens when he finally confronts his predecessor? Join the new Captain America, Iron Man and Nick Fury as they battle Steve Rogers to the DEATH!

32 PGS./Parental Advisory …$3.99

Seriously, this is mind-blowing bullshit.

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Also, if you haven’t figured it out yet, this is a spoof by the always-awesome theblast on Tumblr. But it’s so awesome we can only wish it was true. Also, I don’t know which comics to review this week since Fiel has dibs on GL and RJ’s MIA and I dunno what he wants to review. And I’m lazy to write my MCC post.

But James Robinson comes up with this page, taken from the preview of Justice League: Cry For Justice #2:

And I’m sold. Issue one was all melodramatic fluff with weird dialogue (come on, do people in real life really speak the way Robinson writes?), but this bit of humor redeemed it for me and I’m willing to give it another try.

And really, what the world needs right now is more comics chronicling Hal Jordan’s prowess. That’s a Flash Fact.

… Jeph Loeb writes this majestic piece of dialogue.

It was another normal day at the Marvel Bullpen. Brubaker was ranting yet again about politics while Fraction was intently listening, giving empathic noises while eating a large bowl of chocolate chip cookies. Whedon was, I dunno, slaying sparkly vampires or something. PAD was off looking for another character to turn gay.

Then the door burst open. Quesada waltzed in, with a big grin on his face. “Everyone!” he shouted. “You know that I love to fuck up everybody’s favorite comics. You see, I’ve already raped and pillaged our buying public’s childhood memories, and when everyone thinks I haven’t ruined comics enough for them, I found another way to shit on people!”

Everyone stopped what they were doing. They turned their heads towards the raving Quesada. “So, who wants to write this EVENT! comic? It’ll reboot the Ultimate Universe! And it won’t make any sense at all!”

Suddenly the room fell quiet. Everyone started twiddling their fingers while shifting uncomfortably in their seats. Finally, Bendis spoke up. “I dunno Joe, after I wrote House of M and Secret Invasion, I think I’ve gotten me enough death threats to last me two more years. I have to pass this time.”

Brubaker raised his hand. “Oh no, Ed, you can’t write this.” Quesada said. “I’m hiring you to write the good stuff.” Brubaker silently left the room, and you could actually hear a loud “DAMMIT!” coming from the bathroom. Read the rest of this entry »

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Yes, boys and girls, Comicgasm is back! And I’m not alone this time; if you haven’t noticed it yet, Ade and Fiel gave me free handjobs and a backrub(in that order) to give them accounts so we can all make penis jokes and post shenanigans.

This blog has died and revived more than Jean Grey and Hawkman combined; hopefully, this incarnation would last longer than Hawkgirl(lol Final Crisis and Blackest Night). I hope..

I was supposed to make a review on the Legion of 3 Worlds(specifically, the conclusion), but some idiot tried saving the draft while Comicgasm’s wordpress was being updated(thanks drew!).

So yeah, Final Crisis: Legion of 3 Worlds ended with a Shyamalan-styled TWEEST.  Kudos to Geoff Johns for making us shit bricks and indirectly insulting the reader by making SBP into the sterotypical comic book nerd that lives in his parent’s basement full of comic-related merchendise, whines a lot about EVERYTHING, a burden to his parents and of course a forum troll(JUST LIKE ME!). Geoff Johns is DA MAN!

Funny thing, the thread is very real: LINK. And it’s filled with SBP accounts and people mocking him, telling him to attack Geoff Johns and amassing a geek army to go to his house beat him up. Oh DC, you and your shenanigans. I chuckled.

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Alternate ending:

PS. I still don’t know how this tied-up to Final Crisis.

SO! I was lazily browsing random sites and blogs when I saw Baddie’s Anniversary Post.

I then scrambled to my site’s older posts to find the first one, and found this:

I FORGOT MY OWN BLOG’S ANNIVERSARY! FFFFFFFFFFFFFF! I’M A HORRIBLE FATHER!!!

So to commemorate this event; You(Yes you!), my 4 readers, are all required to give me a kiss!

Pucker up!

NOM NOM NOM

 

 

It’s been a great year(Ignore the fact that I’ve been inactive almost half the time), here’s to another! Thanks Y’all!