After eight agonizing months of SUCK and feminist propaganda, that terrible arc is finally over! And Brian Wood comes back with church-burning vikingness! Hells yeah! Yes kids, Northlanders is awesome again! And I’m gonna review four straight issues!

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He is known by many names; Sven of Orkney, Sven the Returned, Sven Old-man McBadass. Yes folks, Sven is back! And he is OLD! Set several decades after he left Orkney with his wife Enna, his name became a legend in the Viking World. And The Viking World had a lot of young dumbasses; idiots that had everything to prove, eager for a reputation, stupid enough to seize glory by slaying viking legend Sven.

Sven, the mighty viking of epic tales and poems had become Sven the exile. He and his family had tried living a peaceful normal life, until these young vikings found him. This is where Sven goes Viking Clint Eastwood on them and tells them to get off his lawn, which at that time meant brutally murdering them all.

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We interrupt your regularly scheduled mainstream comics for some VIKING CHICKS! That’s right, Welcome to the world of Northlanders. Where Invader is the preferred occupation and Rape and Pillage is their facebook.

Set in Northern Europe, this book is a series of 8-part arcs followed by 2-part short stories about the lives of the people in the different eras and occupations pre-1000AD.

The current 2-parter arc just ended with Northlanders #19; three Danish women, wives of vikings and last survivors of their village found themselves inside an old Roman stronghold after being attacked by Saxon invaders. Using their wits and what they’ve learned from their late husbands, they managed to hold off the Saxons by themselves until they found a way to escape. Girl power at it’s finest and bloodiest!

The first arc is by far, my favorite. It’s about an exiled Viking named Sven(with a name like that, how can you not like him?) and his battle to regain his birthright against his uncle, against the invading Saxons and his realization of what a Norseman truly is. Also, he’s one BADASS muthafucka.

It’s normal to see comic book heroes sweep hordes of enemies in one go, but they don’t have superpowers or batarangs at that time. Seeing regular people brutally murder and decapitate their enemies, mounting their heads on sticks to be displayed just makes me giddy(DON’T JUDGE ME).

This is Sven. Yes, he’s wearing a Stag’s head

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Wow, I haven’t cursed Vertigo since forever.

Yes, I’m 3 weeks late, but I don’t care!

We never got her name! Why must she die? WHY!?

With the next issue due on November, all I can do is sulk, be angsty and redirect my anger by Defending the Ancients. GRRR! T_T