Archive for the ‘WTF’ Category
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Welcome back! Don't forget to subscribe to the Comicgasm RSS feed. Thanks for visiting!
… will pretend this never happened in the morning.
[also, please visit my new project, Batman Punching People]
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Yes, you’re looking at Batman and Robin looking down at two women holding their crotches. And yes, it is exactly what it looks like. Read the rest of this entry »
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Comicgasm facts!
Posted in Bloggy stuff, Blogpeoples, Local, MISC, Real Life stuff, WTF, filler, gademitApparently we made it into the finals of the Philippine Blog Awards 2009 <– Click here to see us in the list!
While I honestly don’t EXPECT us to win, I do HOPE!
Such is me in my blue lantern shirt:
But hope isn’t enough of course! Comicgasm would have never made it into the finals if it weren’t for us being awesome in one way or another. We sure ain’t gonna win if we just sit back and scratch our balls while staring at the sky as w usually do. Sure we delay posts 80% of the time – but really, what made us into the finals I wonder?
So I sought to describe Comicgasm and I learned that we are awesome because of a few things that we are. Some of these are essential truths that make up the fabric of the universe itself and cannot be defied! Deny them at your own cost.
COMICGASM FACTS:
-The name of Comicgasm was derived from two words: comics and orgasm. Therefore, whenever we post, someone has an orgasm.
-Contrary to popular belief, there is explicit nudity & visual sex scenes in DC, Marvel & Archie comics. Comicgasm simply chooses to keep those pages to ourselves. (See Justice League: Cry for Justice #2 and Archie #601)
- It is a well known fact that only three organisms in the world have pleasure when they have sex: Man, dolphins & Comicgasm.
- When Darkseid hits you with his Omega ray, you don’t die. You just Comicgasm.
- Chuck Norris counted to infinity twice – but only because he was trying to measure the amount of testosterone in Comicgasm.
- Superboy-Prime thought Comicgasm was stupid. Therefore the Legion of Three Worlds exists.
- DC & Marvel once disapproved a superhero idea inspired by Comicgasm’s awesome claiming the character was too powerful. Instead it was turned into a joke. We now know this as the Chuck Norris Facts.
- The modern Marvel comic book series no longer mentions the Infinity Gems. This is because Comicgasm has paid Marvel not to reveal where we get our awesome.
- Disney bought Marvel so they can finally have enough money to pay Comicgasm for Walt Disney’s cryogenically frozen body.
- The Nick Fury character was based on Samuel L. Jackson. The Samuel L. Jackson character was based on Comicgasm.
- The Green Lanterns recite an oath from the guardians. The Guardians recite an oath from Comicgasm.
- Comicgasm confronts the Guardians of the Universe with a Poke’ball and shouts “I choose you!”
- A member of Comicgasm has in fact met, sat down and chatted with Neil Gaiman – without knowing who he was. (and got him addicted to calamansi juice – see proof here.)
- When Alan Moore once got writer’s block in coming up with a character for his novel, he read Comicgasm. Inspired he created Dr. Manhattan.
- Comicgasm designed the costumes of Power Girl & Black Canary and hates the design of Wonder Woman’s costume – saying it ain’t revealing enough.
- When the Hulk gets angry, he gets bigger. When Comicgasm gets horny, he gets BIGGER.
- Comicgasm was supposed to be superhero – but we refused to wear spandex. Not because we don’t like spandex, but because we ALWAYS have a hard-on.
- Comicgasm won a hard-on contest with The Thing.
- Comicgasm won a staring contest with Daredevil.
- Comicgasm has retractable claws but no healing factor. We don’t need it. We like bleeding awesome.
- Comicgasm owns Dominic Ochoa’s long lost twin brother.
AND THAT’S IT. I finally know what lead us to this place so far!
If you have any more Comicgasm facts, pls pls COMMENT! XD
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Starting issue 38, a new Justice League of America will be formed. The team will be formed of Green Lantern (Hal Jordan), Green Arrow, the Atom, Batman, Mon-El, Donna Troy, Cyborg, Doctor Light, Starfire, Congorilla, and the Guardian.
Okay, what? This is probably the least iconic JLA I’ve ever seen. I totally loved the JLA lineup during the Morrison era, and understandably they had to give that lineup a rest. I also liked the Meltzer lineup as well, although I’m disappointed they disbanded that group way before they could be given great stories. Read the rest of this entry »
03
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
This week’s reviews later.
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This post is dedicated to compiling ALL Disney/Marvel-related puns, badly shooped images and badly drawn original art. If you are a Marvel purist that cannot take a joke, please stay so we can laugh at your misfortune.
Ade and I agreed that he’ll make the written sensiblejokes(READ: things that might actually make sense) and I’ll just spam all the images that I can scour from the intertubes. Here we go!
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First, I don’t know what to think. On one hand I’m like “YAY NOW WE’RE SURE THAT MARVEL WILL NEVER GO BANKRUPT ALSO HOWARD THE DUCK AND DONALD DUCK CROSSOVER OMFG WHAT ABOUT A SILVER SURFER PIXAR MOVIE.”
But now, we’re not too sure if Disney also gets creative control over Marvel’s output (God, I hope not). I mean, Disney would never let Grant Morrison’s New X-Men see print.
I hope we don’t see Marvel’s output Disney-fied for a family audience. Really. Disney, don’t ruin it for us nerds.
Also, I’m serious about that Howard the Duck/Donald Duck crossover. Make it happen, Marvel/Disney.
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Oh hi guys. Remember the 90’s?
I honestly don’t know what spells the 90’s more than EXTREME! POUCHES! OMG BULGING! MUSCLES! BIG! GUNS! LITTLE! FEET! FLUFFY! HAIR! ROB LIEFELD! Read the rest of this entry »
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Yes, the internet is buzzing with all sorts of praise for Geoff Johns’ epic masterpiece, Blackest Night. Imagine the amount of money DC has been raking in. So it’s really so surprise that Marvel is going to get into the act as well.
Blackest Night Captain America! Holy shit! The solicit for this issue reads:
Blackest Night: Captain America #1 of 3
Written by ED BRUBAKER
Pencils by ROB LIEFELD
Cover by theblast
50/50 Cover by ALEX ROSSThe Blackest Night proves to be more powerful than we thought as it starts its Secret Invasion of Earth 616… also known as the Marvel Universe! Bucky has survived his first major trial as the new Captain America, but what happens when he finally confronts his predecessor? Join the new Captain America, Iron Man and Nick Fury as they battle Steve Rogers to the DEATH!
32 PGS./Parental Advisory …$3.99
Seriously, this is mind-blowing bullshit.
————
Also, if you haven’t figured it out yet, this is a spoof by the always-awesome theblast on Tumblr. But it’s so awesome we can only wish it was true. Also, I don’t know which comics to review this week since Fiel has dibs on GL and RJ’s MIA and I dunno what he wants to review. And I’m lazy to write my MCC post.
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I don’t find either issue as awesome as the previous ones and some of the prelude issues, but I do have this to say:
DEATH, DEATH, DEATH EVERYWHERE!!!
Comics is generally known to kill some of its characters. But Blackest Night REALLY takes it to the nth level by:
1. Killing more and more characters
2. Turning them into zombies.
3. A supposed “War of Light” of rainbow colored beings is supposed to save the universe. (THINK Power Rangers.)
Sounds like a lame concept? It sure as hell is!
But the awesome Geoff Johns MAKES. IT. WORK.
To be honest, I don’t even know where to start. I’ll start with this advice: read BACK. (No I mean REALLY read back.) Blackest Night is such a vast arc that everyone is practically tied in! To be able to connect with the various characters in their experience of death requires that the reader knows what they have been through.
This is their way of making one-series readers like me read everything else.
Which leads me to my second advice: READ WIDE. Read Batman, Superman, Titans, Red Robin, Justice League, Justice Society: EVERYTHING.
If there is one thing we know about superheroes, it is that they have an unending list of dead relatives and friends. And oh yeah, THEY DIE. There are a lot of Black Rings to go around – so I repeat: READ EVERYTHING.
As for my review I guess that is pretty much it! – There is NO WAY I see that I can make a review without spoiling anything except by saying DEATH IS EVERYWHERE.
One last thing: if you think the ending of Blackest Night #1 was awesome? Check out Blackest Night #2’s ending. (Super Scary) 4.5/5 stars.
One uber last thing: Green Lantern Corps #39 was well written, but 70% of the important details in it are things that have either been revealed or are assumed. 3.5/5 stars.