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Comic Book Porn Parodies

by RJ on May.12, 2010, under Movies, WTF, batman

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If you’re one of those creeps that thought Batman XXX wasn’t enough, then you’re in for a treat! Vivid Entertainment just made a new movie imprint: Vivid Superheroes. That’s right, boys and girls, a new production dedicated in making comic book porn parodies! DREAMS DO COME TRUE!

Stolen from Bleeding Cool: In a press release, Vivid founder Steven Hirsch is quoted as saying;

The parodies under this new imprint will pay tribute to the world’s most popular comic heroes. Axel already started pre-production on a parody of Superman, which will be followed by those of The Green Hornet, Spider-Man, Wonder Woman, Captain America, Thor, and The Incredible Hulk. We made the decision to create the imprint after working with Axel on Batman XXX: A Porn Parody, an Axel Braun Productions movie to be distributed by Vivid. Axel truly did an amazing job with it, and we agreed that together we could mine the really rich treasure of superheroes and have a lot of fun doing it.

Remember what Ade and I said in our Iron Man II review?

RJ: Random thought: They should totally make a porn parody of Iron Man, Lexi Belle as Pepper? Yes please!

Ade: I agree. I can imagine it already: “Well, Pepper, you’d have to know why I’m called Iron Man. You see, iron NEVER goes soft. So yes, Pepper, I am made of iron DOWN THERE! In case you’re too dim to figure it out honey, my dick’s made of iron! Because it never goes soft! That’s why it’s made of iron! That’s they call me Iron Man! Because I never go sof–”

RJ: Wait, what?

Ade: I just realized that last paragraph I’ve written was probably an all-time low.

WE’RE NOW THAT MUCH CLOSER TO THAT! FUCK YEAR!

Can you imagine the horrible/awesome things that they can make?

Superman Comes Again

Fucktastic Four

Watchmen XXX – 120mins of Manhattan’s Penis starring Peter North

STAN LEE CAMEOS! OH GOD, DO IT!

Okay, I’ll stop now.

PS. RIP Frank Frazetta ;_; Good night, sweet prince.

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Batman and Green Lantern…

by Ade Magnaye on Feb.03, 2010, under DC, Green Lantern, WTF, batman, filler, gademit

… will pretend this never happened in the morning.

[also, please visit my new project, Batman Punching People]

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Batman XXX: Now I’ve Officially Seen Everything

by Ade Magnaye on Oct.30, 2009, under Movies, News, WTF, batman

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

Yes, you’re looking at Batman and Robin looking down at two women holding their crotches. And yes, it is exactly what it looks like. (continue reading…)

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Comicgasm facts!

by nhojleif on Sep.24, 2009, under Bloggy stuff, Blogpeoples, Local, MISC, Real Life stuff, WTF, filler, gademit

Apparently we made it into the finals of the Philippine Blog Awards 2009 <– Click here to see us in the list!

While I honestly don’t EXPECT us to win, I do HOPE!

Such is me in my blue lantern shirt:

6140_1181680694802_1011746117_30581594_141387_n

But hope isn’t enough of course! Comicgasm would have never made it into the finals if it weren’t for us being awesome in one way or another. We sure ain’t gonna win if we just sit back and scratch our balls while staring at the sky as w usually do. Sure we delay posts 80% of the time – but really, what made us into the finals I wonder?

So I sought to describe Comicgasm and I learned that we are awesome because of a few things that we are. Some of these are essential truths that make up the fabric of the universe itself and cannot be defied! Deny them at your own cost.

COMICGASM FACTS:

-The name of Comicgasm was derived from two words: comics and orgasm. Therefore, whenever we post, someone has an orgasm.

-Contrary to popular belief, there is explicit nudity & visual sex scenes in DC, Marvel & Archie comics. Comicgasm simply chooses to keep those pages to ourselves. (See Justice League: Cry for Justice #2 and Archie #601)

- It is a well known fact that only three organisms in the world have pleasure when they have sex: Man, dolphins & Comicgasm.

- When Darkseid hits you with his Omega ray, you don’t die. You just Comicgasm.

- Chuck Norris counted to infinity twice – but only because he was trying to measure the amount of testosterone in Comicgasm.

- Superboy-Prime thought Comicgasm was stupid. Therefore the Legion of Three Worlds exists.

- DC & Marvel once disapproved a superhero idea inspired by Comicgasm’s awesome claiming the character was too powerful. Instead it was turned into a joke. We now know this as the Chuck Norris Facts.

- The modern Marvel comic book series no longer mentions the Infinity Gems. This is because Comicgasm has paid Marvel not to reveal where we get our awesome.

- Disney bought Marvel so they can finally have enough money to pay Comicgasm for Walt Disney’s cryogenically frozen body.

- The Nick Fury character was based on Samuel L. Jackson. The Samuel L. Jackson character was based on Comicgasm.

- The Green Lanterns recite an oath from the guardians. The Guardians recite an oath from Comicgasm.

- Comicgasm confronts the Guardians of the Universe with a Poke’ball and shouts “I choose you!”

- A member of Comicgasm has in fact met, sat down and chatted with Neil Gaiman – without knowing who he was. (and got him addicted to calamansi juice – see proof here.)

- When Alan Moore once got writer’s block in coming up with a character for his novel, he read Comicgasm. Inspired he created Dr. Manhattan.

- Comicgasm designed the costumes of Power Girl & Black Canary and hates the design of Wonder Woman’s costume – saying it ain’t revealing enough.

- When the Hulk gets angry, he gets bigger. When Comicgasm gets horny, he gets BIGGER.

- Comicgasm was supposed to be superhero – but we refused to wear spandex. Not because we don’t like spandex, but because we ALWAYS have a hard-on.

- Comicgasm won a hard-on contest with The Thing.

- Comicgasm won a staring contest with Daredevil.

- Comicgasm has retractable claws but no healing factor. We don’t need it. We like bleeding awesome.

- Comicgasm owns Dominic Ochoa’s long lost twin brother.

AND THAT’S IT. I finally know what lead us to this place so far!

If you have any more Comicgasm facts, pls pls COMMENT! XD

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The New Justice League of America: Wait, WTF?

by Ade Magnaye on Sep.21, 2009, under DC, WTF

Starting issue 38, a new Justice League of America will be formed. The team will be formed of Green Lantern (Hal Jordan), Green Arrow, the Atom, Batman, Mon-El, Donna Troy, Cyborg, Doctor Light, Starfire, Congorilla, and the Guardian.

Okay, what? This is probably the least iconic JLA I’ve ever seen. I totally loved the JLA lineup during the Morrison era, and understandably they had to give that lineup a rest. I also liked the Meltzer lineup as well, although I’m disappointed they disbanded that group way before they could be given great stories. (continue reading…)

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