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Reviews: Amazing Spider-Man #603, Archie #600, Daredevil #500, X-Factor #47, Wolverine: Weapon X #4. Also, Haikus!
By Ade Magnaye
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Oh look, it’s Friday, and that means us Comicgasm monkeys have to write reviews to satisfy your comic book urges! Even if our reviews are a day late so it really won’t mean anything because I’m pretty sure you’ve already read these issues and our opinions would be pretty much superfluous! How’s this for a filler intro!
First, apologies for the lack of articles. You see, RJ, Fiel and I have been stuck in the mountains of Tibet where we discovered a secret tribe of hot Tibetan women. The welcome fellatio we received from them was so intense this blog actually stopped churning updates.
To make it up for you, Lady Bullseye and I have set up this little slapstick routine, where one of us ends up with a concussion…
Thanks for taking one for the team, Lady Bullseye!
Archie #600
Let’s face it: Archie comics – as awesome as they seem back in our childhood – suck. Well, I know they’re not really known to shake things up or to do anything controversial (the most controversial shit they’ve done in recent memory was to make new-look Betty & Veronica) but I’d rather not have my Archie Comics bland. Since Archie is a humor comic, I’d rather see one panel that’ll make me chortle at least once. I mean, their jokes stopped being funny around 1959 or something.
And this is it, the much-hyped engagement issue between Archie and Veronica. Archie, being the idiot that he is, spends the money his parents have given him for a graduation gift on an engagement ring for the rich slut. You know, instead of spending the money on practical shit like using the money for job hunting or for buying a night out of town with twenty hookers and cocaine.
Won’t spoil too much, but I was surprised Archie was actually worrying about real life for a change. It was a different feeling to see a comic book character who has been long considered too unrealistic to suddenly worry about dental insurance, or poverty, or finding a job, and other grown-up stuff like that. I mean, he’s worrying about stuff I can relate to! That shit is jarring.
Then Hiram Lodge ruins it all by becoming the deus ex machina.
Sigh.
These next two reviews have been reduced to haikus because I dunno what else to say:
X-Factor #47
Big shit goes ka-boom
Monet struts around naked
Big twist last panel
Daredevil #500
Lots of fattie jokes
And ninjas and emo Matt
Works out in the end
So I was lazy. What.
Amazing Spider-Man #603
ASM 603, I dub thee Ade’s best of the week.
The art is ick. Why are the Marvel artists so intent in making Mary Jane Watson look like a transvestite hooker post-OMD?
Story-wise, I’ve seriously lost the will to bitch about One More Day already because ASM is the shit. Chameleon is a creepy motherfucker. I honestly don’t know how they managed to write the character all this time without making him look this good. Also, Chameleon manages to ruin every single friendship Pete has and I honestly don’t know how he’s getting out of it.
And that last page. Damn.
Wolverine: Weapon X #4
I’ve always hated Wolverine as a solo character. He’s a great character in a team though. Whether he’s the annoying creepy old man hitting on the underage telepath redhead in those classic X-Men issues, or the reluctant leader who just doesn’t want his clone to get killed in X-Force, for me he works best with a great supporting cast.
Which is why I’m surprised at how much I’m loving Wolverine: Weapon X. This series doesn’t even try to make sense, really. I still don’t get why restarting Weapon X would be beneficial to the welfare of the United States, or how Blackguard can cover up for the sheer number of dead executives it has racked up for the last 2 days. It has plotholes are so large I can drive a car through them. But the thing is, WWX makes up for the plot by not pretending to be a classic in the vein of Claremont’s awesome run.
And really, Logan’s up against a bunch of guys with healing factors, armed with laser claws and guns that shoot you with cancer. Come the fuck on, how could you not love that.
Related posts:
- REVIEWS: Amazing Spider-Man #606, Archie #601, Superman: Secret Origin #1
- Reviews: Captain America Reborn #2, Amazing Spider-Man #601, Justice League: Cry For Justice #2
- REVIEWS: Amazing Spider-Man #610, Azrael #1, Captain America Reborn #4
- REVIEWS: Amazing Spider-Man #611, Batman #693, Batman and Robin #6, Green Lantern Corps #42
- DELAYED REVIEWS: Batman #690, Justice League: Cry For Justice #3, Ultimate Comics Spider-Man #2, Detective Comics #856
Posted in Archie, Marvel, Reviews, Wolverine
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3 Comments
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, August 21, 2009:
Archie, you dumbass!
[Reply]
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Archie doesn’t deserve Betty.
If a person does some wrong shit and another person who is in love with that person doesn’t get that person, then another person deserves someone better. :)
Yes yes this is implying something.
[Reply]
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, August 24, 2009:
Archie art sucks nowadays :( I want my 60s era Archie.
Also, ASM still good? Okay, I want in for the ride.
[Reply]
Ade Magnaye replied with:
August 25th, 2009 at 10:02 amASM is pretty good, if you can forget that Pete and MJ were ever married in the first place. I started to enjoy ASM once I stopped being annoyed with One More Day.
[Reply]
