And I am angrier than ever. Why are X-Fans such masochists? Even more than Teen Titans fans but slightly less than Legion fans. God damn.

I’m an on-off X-Men reader, but I haven’t kept up in the last few years. Mostly because, well look at the cycle. So before going back, I asked longtime and hardcore X-Fans what I should expect. Most wondered why I even do this, I get more than enough masochistic RAGE from Teen Titans.

So here’s what happened while I was away:

Shadowcat is back:

We last saw Kitty Pryde at the end of Joss Whedon‘s very successful run in Astonishing X-Men, arguably one of the best arcs in the past decade. She’s freed from her giant intangible hollow bullet circling space forever and is back on earth, but with a catch: she’s stuck in her intangible form and can’t speak without wearing a suit. But she gets better. Don’t ask how but she does. But who brought her back?

Magneto joins the X-Men:

That’s right. Xavier’s totally-not-ex-boyfriend casually walks on their little island and joins the X-Men. Just like that. He brought back Kitty’s giant hollow bullet from space just to prove he’s a good guy now. Right. Well, Doctor Doom’s with the FF and Red Hulk’s an Avenger. All we need now is Red Skull fighting for America!

Jugger-Lossus:

Yo dawg! I heard you like armor. So we put armor on your techno-organic armored skin so you can be unstoppable while you’re being unstoppable! This Fear Itself tie-in, like most X-Men tie-ins to crossover events is just awesome.

Jubilee is a Vampire:

Also, she lost a couple of cup sizes. Which I prefer. This is totally better than her schtick as BoobileeWondra. And definitely more adorable. An X-Fan pointed out that Jubilee had a rough time graduating from being Wolverine’s sidekick, and this new phase is more than welcome.  One would imagine what would a mutant-vampire, a short Canadian with anger issues, short Canadian’s clone and a card-throwing Cajun would do in France. Have Gambit show them around the Casinos? But who would do that if you can do it in online party casinos! Did I mention that Jubilee is adorable?

Cyclops and Wolverine are bros:

For two whole issues! And now they’re fighting like kids while a sentinel hovers over them. Also, their entire A-Team is beaten. By children. Then they’ll be splitting the roster. Woverine’s making his own team. Because being on two Avenger teams and half a dozen other titles isn’t enough. And it’s a totally good idea to divide the remaining hundred-something mutants left. Doesn’t Ice Man provide fresh water for Utopia? Yeah. Cycle of the X-Fan. Time for another hiatus.

PS. If you’re going to read an X-Book. Read X-Force. Seriously.

RJ

Doesn't know FTP to save his life. :|

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