No, I will not make that joke. I am better than this. No, I will not make that joke. I am better than this. No, I will not make that joke. I am better than this. No, I will not make that joke. I am better than this. No, I will not make that joke. I am better than this. No, I will not make that joke. I am better than this. No, I will not make that joke. I am better than this. No, I will not make that joke. I am better than this. No, I will not make that joke. I am better than this. No, I will not make that joke. I am better than this. No, I will not make that joke. I am better than this. No, I will not make that joke. I am better than this. No, I will not make that joke. I am better than this. No, I will not make that joke. I am better than this. No, I will not make that joke. I am better than this. No, I will not make that joke. I am better than this. No, I will not make that joke. I am better than this. No, I will not make that joke. I am better than this.

There’s really nothing much to say here. This issue is fantastic. You see, Batman just shows up immediately after the end of Final Crisis, emerging from the cave as the hairy-chested love god that he is…

… and he proceeds to wear a gigantic bat, and beats up a bunch of evil cavemen led by Vandal Savage. How could anyone not love shit like that.

If you’re one of those creeps that thought Batman XXX wasn’t enough, then you’re in for a treat! Vivid Entertainment just made a new movie imprint: Vivid Superheroes. That’s right, boys and girls, a new production dedicated in making comic book porn parodies! DREAMS DO COME TRUE!

Stolen from Bleeding Cool: In a press release, Vivid founder Steven Hirsch is quoted as saying;

The parodies under this new imprint will pay tribute to the world’s most popular comic heroes. Axel already started pre-production on a parody of Superman, which will be followed by those of The Green Hornet, Spider-Man, Wonder Woman, Captain America, Thor, and The Incredible Hulk. We made the decision to create the imprint after working with Axel on Batman XXX: A Porn Parody, an Axel Braun Productions movie to be distributed by Vivid. Axel truly did an amazing job with it, and we agreed that together we could mine the really rich treasure of superheroes and have a lot of fun doing it.

Remember what Ade and I said in our Iron Man II review?

RJ: Random thought: They should totally make a porn parody of Iron Man, Lexi Belle as Pepper? Yes please!

Ade: I agree. I can imagine it already: “Well, Pepper, you’d have to know why I’m called Iron Man. You see, iron NEVER goes soft. So yes, Pepper, I am made of iron DOWN THERE! In case you’re too dim to figure it out honey, my dick’s made of iron! Because it never goes soft! That’s why it’s made of iron! That’s they call me Iron Man! Because I never go sof–”

RJ: Wait, what?

Ade: I just realized that last paragraph I’ve written was probably an all-time low.

WE’RE NOW THAT MUCH CLOSER TO THAT! FUCK YEAR!

Can you imagine the horrible/awesome things that they can make?

Superman Comes Again

Fucktastic Four

Watchmen XXX – 120mins of Manhattan’s Penis starring Peter North

STAN LEE CAMEOS! OH GOD, DO IT!

Okay, I’ll stop now.

PS. RIP Frank Frazetta ;_; Good night, sweet prince.

Remember the Batman XXX parody I’ve written about a few months ago? Apparently those guys at Vivid Entertainment have finally wrapped up production, and look, a trailer. (continue reading…)

… they don’t use rubbers.