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I totally forgot I was actually writing for this here blog for a while. Heh. Sorry about that. Now I’ll be updating Comicgasm with the help of my spiffy new laptop, so you can expect me to post here more frequently! Yay?

Siege #1

Finally! We’re at the end of Dark Reign, and we get to see Norman Osborn’s fall from grace. He and Loki engineer a disaster that rivals the Stamford incident in Civil War, and we see Osborn assembling the Dark Avengers and the entire freaking Initiatve taking on the floating city of Asgard. Read the rest of this entry »

Now that the decade is about to end, the Comicgasm staff will walk you through the worst comics of 2000-2009 and why they suck.

Ultimatum is what happens when you get Magneto to reverse the magnetic poles, flood New York, and practically kill half the superhuman population. He’s killing people because A ROBOT WHO FELL IN LOVE WITH THE SCARLET WITCH KILLED HER, SPARKING A BATTLE THAT ULTIMATELY KILLED QUICKSLIVER TOO. Everybody goes crazy and THEY KILL ONE ANOTHER IN THE BLOODIEST, MESSIEST, AND CRAPPIEST WAY POSSIBLE because this is a realistic world and it’s grim and gritty, right? Also, throw in some characters who EAT CORPSES JUST FOR THE HECK OF IT even though they’ve never shown any signs of cannibalism before. Read the rest of this entry »

Hey guys, this is the first-ever Comicgasm joint entry! Well, it’s just Ade and RJ (coz Fiel has way too much in his hands right now, mind you), and what we’re doing here is Comicgasm’s little bit of civic duty! We’re going to help save the earth.

So guys, remember, it’s Blog Action Daaaaay! Except it’s about to end in 15 minutes! But hey, it’s still noon in New York!

You see, Captain Planet visited the Comicgasm offices today. We were all busy getting handjobs from Eastern European prostitutes working hard to write the high-quality kind of comic book reviews Comicgasm is known for: a little rushed and done half-heartedly, and peppered liberally with dick jokes. Then OMGSH it’s Captain Planet tapping our windows with that creepy pedo-smile of his! Read the rest of this entry »

Hi guys. This is Ade here, reporting for Comicgasm. We just want you guys to know that we’re alive and all despite Ondoy, even after a few white-knuckle hours because our intrepid writer Fiel went MIA (he’s ok, FYI).

Anyway. I’m reporting that I survived Ondoy unscathed, with no property damage whatsoever. However, I can’t say the same for some of our countrymen.

Read the rest of this entry »

Hey guys, the reviews are back. I’m taking a break from my “pleasuring Comicgasm’s secret harem of hot and willing women” duties to take some time to actually read some comics and write a review.

By the way, if you haven’t heard yet, Comicgasm is a finalist in the 2009 Philippine Blog Awards! We’d like to thank our readers (both of you) and our mothers for constantly visiting this blog. And because we’re going to party like it’s 1993 after this review, I’m going to put on my YAY! face.

This is my YAY! face

Amazing Spider-Man #606

As usual, Peter Parker’s problems pile up and he’s all mister whiney mcdouche again. But it doesn’t mean we can’t sit back and enjoy and say “whew, am I ever so glad that shit isn’t happening to me.” Read the rest of this entry »

Apparently we made it into the finals of the Philippine Blog Awards 2009 <– Click here to see us in the list!

While I honestly don’t EXPECT us to win, I do HOPE!

Such is me in my blue lantern shirt:

But hope isn’t enough of course! Comicgasm would have never made it into the finals if it weren’t for us being awesome in one way or another. We sure ain’t gonna win if we just sit back and scratch our balls while staring at the sky as w usually do. Sure we delay posts 80% of the time – but really, what made us into the finals I wonder?

So I sought to describe Comicgasm and I learned that we are awesome because of a few things that we are. Some of these are essential truths that make up the fabric of the universe itself and cannot be defied! Deny them at your own cost.

COMICGASM FACTS:

-The name of Comicgasm was derived from two words: comics and orgasm. Therefore, whenever we post, someone has an orgasm.

-Contrary to popular belief, there is explicit nudity & visual sex scenes in DC, Marvel & Archie comics. Comicgasm simply chooses to keep those pages to ourselves. (See Justice League: Cry for Justice #2 and Archie #601)

- It is a well known fact that only three organisms in the world have pleasure when they have sex: Man, dolphins & Comicgasm.

- When Darkseid hits you with his Omega ray, you don’t die. You just Comicgasm.

- Chuck Norris counted to infinity twice – but only because he was trying to measure the amount of testosterone in Comicgasm.

- Superboy-Prime thought Comicgasm was stupid. Therefore the Legion of Three Worlds exists.

- DC & Marvel once disapproved a superhero idea inspired by Comicgasm’s awesome claiming the character was too powerful. Instead it was turned into a joke. We now know this as the Chuck Norris Facts.

- The modern Marvel comic book series no longer mentions the Infinity Gems. This is because Comicgasm has paid Marvel not to reveal where we get our awesome.

- Disney bought Marvel so they can finally have enough money to pay Comicgasm for Walt Disney’s cryogenically frozen body.

- The Nick Fury character was based on Samuel L. Jackson. The Samuel L. Jackson character was based on Comicgasm.

- The Green Lanterns recite an oath from the guardians. The Guardians recite an oath from Comicgasm.

- Comicgasm confronts the Guardians of the Universe with a Poke’ball and shouts “I choose you!”

- A member of Comicgasm has in fact met, sat down and chatted with Neil Gaiman – without knowing who he was. (and got him addicted to calamansi juice – see proof here.)

- When Alan Moore once got writer’s block in coming up with a character for his novel, he read Comicgasm. Inspired he created Dr. Manhattan.

- Comicgasm designed the costumes of Power Girl & Black Canary and hates the design of Wonder Woman’s costume – saying it ain’t revealing enough.

- When the Hulk gets angry, he gets bigger. When Comicgasm gets horny, he gets BIGGER.

- Comicgasm was supposed to be superhero – but we refused to wear spandex. Not because we don’t like spandex, but because we ALWAYS have a hard-on.

- Comicgasm won a hard-on contest with The Thing.

- Comicgasm won a staring contest with Daredevil.

- Comicgasm has retractable claws but no healing factor. We don’t need it. We like bleeding awesome.

- Comicgasm owns Dominic Ochoa’s long lost twin brother.

AND THAT’S IT. I finally know what lead us to this place so far!

If you have any more Comicgasm facts, pls pls COMMENT! XD

Oh lookee. The Comicgasm monkeys have been all busy getting drunk and we’ve totally forgotten this little blog of ours. Oh well. Time to make the reviews then.

Ultimate Comics Spider-Man #2

I’ve mostly avoided the Ultimate Universe, but after Loeb did his best to destroy said universe, I thought, well, it can only get better after this. Read the rest of this entry »

Oh look, it’s Friday, and that means us Comicgasm monkeys have to write reviews to satisfy your comic book urges! Even if our reviews are a day late so it really won’t mean anything because I’m pretty sure you’ve already read these issues and our opinions would be pretty much superfluous! How’s this for a filler intro!

First, apologies for the lack of articles. You see, RJ, Fiel and I have been stuck in the mountains of Tibet where we discovered a secret tribe of hot Tibetan women. The welcome fellatio we received from them was so intense this blog actually stopped churning updates.

To make it up for you, Lady Bullseye and I have set up this little slapstick routine, where one of us ends up with a concussion…

Thanks for taking one for the team, Lady Bullseye! Read the rest of this entry »

Okay, so the Comicgasm crew (that’s me and two other guys… what) just came back from the Metro Comic-Con last weekend, and we’re still not finished collecting our thoughts. Okay, we’re actually trying to steal some pictures off Multiply and Flickr, but whatever.

Anyway, I just went to day 1, and I had a blast. Lots of geek stuff, hot cosplaying women who turned out to be underage PLS TO NOT SIC THE COPS ON ME, and scantily-dressed women bending over to a statue of Ultimate Captain America.

Read the rest of this entry »

Okay, so this is the first time I’ll ever do a review for Comicgasm. I spend two weeks here doing nothing but stall, copy Chris Sims, take comic book panels out of context, and make the occasional gay joke or two. It’s time I write something real here.

Okay this is my pull list for this week:

Justice League: Cry For Justice #2

Man, this is NOT a good book.

James Robinson has been one of my favorite writers. And who doesn’t love the way he turned Krypto into the awesome super pet sidekick he’s supposed to be? I was so excited for this book ever since it was announced.

The art is as always, gorgeous, and I’m waiting for the concept of a proactive superhero team to work, without it becoming too violent and X-treme (X-Force, no matter how awesome you’ve been, you remind me too much of the Liefeld!90’s). Read the rest of this entry »