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Iron Man 2 came, went, made gazillions of money, made geeks orgasm, and probably left the non-nerd part of the audience scratching their heads in bewilderment. Critics have panned this movie to high heavens, while nerds continued to orgasm all the way to the third viewing. But who cares? Comicgasm editors RJ and Ade weigh in on how awesome or stupid the movie is.

WARNING: this review contains major spoilers for Iron Man 2.

Ade: Okay, so, honestly I thought Iron Man 2 was a tighter movie than its predecessor. It’s got better action sequences, the movie didn’t lose any steam by the third act, and oh my goodness they seem to have an actual script this time. Although I can’t definitely say that it’s a better movie than the first one; there’s absolutely no way any scene in Iron Man 2 can defeat the glorious origin story of the first movie.

RJ: Suffering from conjunctivitis, my eyes were leaking mucopurulent discharge non-stop. I had to force my right eye to not swell for the duration of this film with willpower alone. Anything moderately bright burns my eyes, but all those explosions were totally worth not being able to see after the movie!

Ade: Um, okay, RJ. Thanks for that… insightful and way too revealing bit of information. So if anyone went to Iron Man 2 and ended up with conjunctivitis, it’s RJ’s fault. Anyway, before I go on with this scholarly review of the film, may I complain about Oliva Munn’s cameo? I was hoping that she’d be all hot like The Scarlet Witch or The Wasp, but no, she had to end up as a reporter. Way to go, Marvel, great way to waste talent. What I’m saying, Marvel, is that Olivia Munn needs to be dressed up as a hyper-sexualized superheroine that will claim to be for the benefit of the fairer sex but in reality it’s just an excuse for her to be in a skin-tight latex costume with her cleavage showing for us nerds to ogle at. Mmmm. Tits.

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Oh look! We finally have a comic review that actually gets published on time! Well, whaddaya know! This has been a pretty rockin’ week, so protect your faces, because Sentry’s going to punch your teeth in if you don’t behave!

And now, on to the reviews! (continue reading…)

Hey guys, this is the first-ever Comicgasm joint entry! Well, it’s just Ade and RJ (coz Fiel has way too much in his hands right now, mind you), and what we’re doing here is Comicgasm’s little bit of civic duty! We’re going to help save the earth.

So guys, remember, it’s Blog Action Daaaaay! Except it’s about to end in 15 minutes! But hey, it’s still noon in New York!

You see, Captain Planet visited the Comicgasm offices today. We were all busy getting handjobs from Eastern European prostitutes working hard to write the high-quality kind of comic book reviews Comicgasm is known for: a little rushed and done half-heartedly, and peppered liberally with dick jokes. Then OMGSH it’s Captain Planet tapping our windows with that creepy pedo-smile of his! (continue reading…)