We interrupt your regularly scheduled blog inactivity for some THWIP-tastic news! Our friends at Vivid Entertainment released yet another one of their Porn Parodies, this time it’s your Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man! Directed by Axel Braun, the guy that made Batman XXX possible and hilariously accurate. And if you’re part of the majority of our target demographic, you should be aware of their series of Superhero Porn parodies as well.

Starring Capri Anderson as Mary Jane Watson, Ash Hollywood as Gwen Stacey, Brooklyn Lee as Natasha Romanoff/Black Widow and Sarah Shevon as Betty Brant. I ain’t listing the male cast because fuck you I don’t wanna! It’s weird that they decided to include Black Widow but not Black Cat. Heck, add Carlie Cooper in the sequel just so we can mock Joe Quesada! Do it, Vivid friends! Do it!

Rob Black gets a special mention because he plays J. Jonah Jameson. J. JONAH JAMESON! In a porn parody! That is both hilarious and awful at the same time! This is a funny change of pace compared to reading people getting butthurt over Marvel’s decision to make the new Ultimate Spider-Man Black/Latino don’t you think?

PS. Just to scar you for life: Aunt May is in it. You are now having a mental image of her in a Spider-Man porn parody film. Manually. brb, laughing forever.

So Peter Parker of the Ultimate universe was prominently featured recently in the Death of Spider-Man storyline, and – here’s a shocker – bit the bullet in the end. Nobody saw that coming, really. Anyway, Marvel just recently debuted the brand-new Spider-Man for the alternate Ultimate Universe, and I’m really loving this little development.

Welcome, Miles Morales. Hope Marvel doesn't shit on your life... much.

Here’s an except from Marvel’s announcement in USA Today:

Revealed in Marvel Comics’ Ultimate Fallout Issue 4, out Wednesday, the new Spider-Man in the Ultimate universe is a half-black, half-Hispanic teen named Miles Morales. He takes over the gig held by Peter Parker, who was killed in Ultimate Spider-Man Issue 160 in June.

In his first appearance, he simply breaks up a fight. But readers will learn the true origin of Morales and how he became the new Spider-Man when Ultimate Spider-Man relaunches in September with a new No. 1 issue [...] In addition to an alliterative name, Miles has a connection to his predecessor in how he received his powers. But he will have different abilities, too. Supporting characters such as Peter’s Aunt May and Gwen Stacy also will give Miles nuggets of wisdom to help his transition from young kid to New York City superhero.

I’m just afraid that with Brian Michael Bendis writing a half-black, half-hispanic Spider-Man, his signature heavy-handedness might get too unbearable. Let’s just see, alright?

Welcome to the (Ultimate) Marvel Universe, Miles Morales. Hope you become popular enough to not get killed and be replaced by your (non-minority) predecessor.

I’ve been pretty ambivalent about Andrew Garfield as Spider-Man. I really thought that the guy was great in The Social Network, and admittedly, he looks a lot more like Peter Parker than Tobey Maguire ever did. But for some reason I never really cared about him getting the titular role in Marc Webb’s reboot of everyone’s favorite web-slinger.

That is, until today.

From Slashfilm: the first official photo of Andrew Garfield in the Spider-Man suit.

Two things: I love the fact that the new costume gets rid of the raised webbing from the Sam Raimi movies. That was the one thing that irked me from the otherwise faithful costume from the first series. Weirdly, this new costume modifies the comic book costume a bit – I can see where they’ve changed up some of the classic patterns. (continue reading…)

Remember when everybody went crazy when Emma Stone was announced as Gwen Stacy for the new Spider-Man movie? Yeah, I remember that. People were saying that she was more of a Mary Jane Parker than a Gwen. I dunno, honestly. I was just glad that they’re going to do justice to Peter Parker’s first (and dead) girlfriend in the new Spider-Man series. Remember Gwen Stacy from Spider-Man 3 and how it totally felt like a cameo? Yeah. Anyway, Emma Stone’s a natural blonde, but everyone’s seen her as a redhead since like forever. I guess this is why people wanted her cast as MJ. If you want to see how Emma Stone looks like now that she’s preparing for her role as Gwen Stacy, check out the picture after the jump! (continue reading…)

Oh lookee. The Comicgasm monkeys have been all busy getting drunk and we’ve totally forgotten this little blog of ours. Oh well. Time to make the reviews then.

Ultimate Comics Spider-Man #2

I’ve mostly avoided the Ultimate Universe, but after Loeb did his best to destroy said universe, I thought, well, it can only get better after this. (continue reading…)