We interrupt your regularly scheduled blog inactivity for some THWIP-tastic news! Our friends at Vivid Entertainment released yet another one of their Porn Parodies, this time it’s your Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man! Directed by Axel Braun, the guy that made Batman XXX possible and hilariously accurate. And if you’re part of the majority of our target demographic, you should be aware of their series of Superhero Porn parodies as well.

Starring Capri Anderson as Mary Jane Watson, Ash Hollywood as Gwen Stacey, Brooklyn Lee as Natasha Romanoff/Black Widow and Sarah Shevon as Betty Brant. I ain’t listing the male cast because fuck you I don’t wanna! It’s weird that they decided to include Black Widow but not Black Cat. Heck, add Carlie Cooper in the sequel just so we can mock Joe Quesada! Do it, Vivid friends! Do it!

Rob Black gets a special mention because he plays J. Jonah Jameson. J. JONAH JAMESON! In a porn parody! That is both hilarious and awful at the same time! This is a funny change of pace compared to reading people getting butthurt over Marvel’s decision to make the new Ultimate Spider-Man Black/Latino don’t you think?

PS. Just to scar you for life: Aunt May is in it. You are now having a mental image of her in a Spider-Man porn parody film. Manually. brb, laughing forever.

To be honest, I never really had high hopes for Spider-Man: One Moment In Time to begin with. Brand New Day was rocking like crazy, giving us some of the best Spider-Man stories in twenty years like Shed and The Grim Hunt. Most of us were willing to forget the whole One More Day ordeal. Spider-Man made a fucking deal with the devil to save his aunt’s life, and the cost was his marriage and give or take five years of his life, and surprisingly, there are a few nerds that are willing to live with that. It’s not a pretty situation, but if it means great stories, than it can’t be all that bad, right?

Just when we were all starting to enjoy Amazing Spider-Man once again, Joe Quesada pulls O.M.I.T. out of his ass to answer questions nobody was asking. The whole premise of O.M.I.T. was simple – since Peter Parker and Mary Jane Watson were no longer married, what happened? How did Aunt May survive being shot in the freaking stomach? And how the hell did the world forget Spider-Man’s identity?

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Oh look, it’s Friday, and that means us Comicgasm monkeys have to write reviews to satisfy your comic book urges! Even if our reviews are a day late so it really won’t mean anything because I’m pretty sure you’ve already read these issues and our opinions would be pretty much superfluous! How’s this for a filler intro!

First, apologies for the lack of articles. You see, RJ, Fiel and I have been stuck in the mountains of Tibet where we discovered a secret tribe of hot Tibetan women. The welcome fellatio we received from them was so intense this blog actually stopped churning updates.

To make it up for you, Lady Bullseye and I have set up this little slapstick routine, where one of us ends up with a concussion…

Thanks for taking one for the team, Lady Bullseye! (continue reading…)