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Iron Man 2 came, went, made gazillions of money, made geeks orgasm, and probably left the non-nerd part of the audience scratching their heads in bewilderment. Critics have panned this movie to high heavens, while nerds continued to orgasm all the way to the third viewing. But who cares? Comicgasm editors RJ and Ade weigh in on how awesome or stupid the movie is.

WARNING: this review contains major spoilers for Iron Man 2.

Ade: Okay, so, honestly I thought Iron Man 2 was a tighter movie than its predecessor. It’s got better action sequences, the movie didn’t lose any steam by the third act, and oh my goodness they seem to have an actual script this time. Although I can’t definitely say that it’s a better movie than the first one; there’s absolutely no way any scene in Iron Man 2 can defeat the glorious origin story of the first movie.

RJ: Suffering from conjunctivitis, my eyes were leaking mucopurulent discharge non-stop. I had to force my right eye to not swell for the duration of this film with willpower alone. Anything moderately bright burns my eyes, but all those explosions were totally worth not being able to see after the movie!

Ade: Um, okay, RJ. Thanks for that… insightful and way too revealing bit of information. So if anyone went to Iron Man 2 and ended up with conjunctivitis, it’s RJ’s fault. Anyway, before I go on with this scholarly review of the film, may I complain about Oliva Munn’s cameo? I was hoping that she’d be all hot like The Scarlet Witch or The Wasp, but no, she had to end up as a reporter. Way to go, Marvel, great way to waste talent. What I’m saying, Marvel, is that Olivia Munn needs to be dressed up as a hyper-sexualized superheroine that will claim to be for the benefit of the fairer sex but in reality it’s just an excuse for her to be in a skin-tight latex costume with her cleavage showing for us nerds to ogle at. Mmmm. Tits.

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I. came. buckets.

BUCKETS!

let’s see..

Suitcase Armor: check
back-to-back bro-fight: check
AC/DC’s War Machine: check
Mark II vs MarkIV: check
Black Widow: super check
Nick Fury: MUTHAFUCKIN CHECK
Jizz in my pants: double check

Scratch that, triple check.

Apparently we made it into the finals of the Philippine Blog Awards 2009 <– Click here to see us in the list!

While I honestly don’t EXPECT us to win, I do HOPE!

Such is me in my blue lantern shirt:

But hope isn’t enough of course! Comicgasm would have never made it into the finals if it weren’t for us being awesome in one way or another. We sure ain’t gonna win if we just sit back and scratch our balls while staring at the sky as w usually do. Sure we delay posts 80% of the time – but really, what made us into the finals I wonder?

So I sought to describe Comicgasm and I learned that we are awesome because of a few things that we are. Some of these are essential truths that make up the fabric of the universe itself and cannot be defied! Deny them at your own cost.

COMICGASM FACTS:

-The name of Comicgasm was derived from two words: comics and orgasm. Therefore, whenever we post, someone has an orgasm.

-Contrary to popular belief, there is explicit nudity & visual sex scenes in DC, Marvel & Archie comics. Comicgasm simply chooses to keep those pages to ourselves. (See Justice League: Cry for Justice #2 and Archie #601)

- It is a well known fact that only three organisms in the world have pleasure when they have sex: Man, dolphins & Comicgasm.

- When Darkseid hits you with his Omega ray, you don’t die. You just Comicgasm.

- Chuck Norris counted to infinity twice – but only because he was trying to measure the amount of testosterone in Comicgasm.

- Superboy-Prime thought Comicgasm was stupid. Therefore the Legion of Three Worlds exists.

- DC & Marvel once disapproved a superhero idea inspired by Comicgasm’s awesome claiming the character was too powerful. Instead it was turned into a joke. We now know this as the Chuck Norris Facts.

- The modern Marvel comic book series no longer mentions the Infinity Gems. This is because Comicgasm has paid Marvel not to reveal where we get our awesome.

- Disney bought Marvel so they can finally have enough money to pay Comicgasm for Walt Disney’s cryogenically frozen body.

- The Nick Fury character was based on Samuel L. Jackson. The Samuel L. Jackson character was based on Comicgasm.

- The Green Lanterns recite an oath from the guardians. The Guardians recite an oath from Comicgasm.

- Comicgasm confronts the Guardians of the Universe with a Poke’ball and shouts “I choose you!”

- A member of Comicgasm has in fact met, sat down and chatted with Neil Gaiman – without knowing who he was. (and got him addicted to calamansi juice – see proof here.)

- When Alan Moore once got writer’s block in coming up with a character for his novel, he read Comicgasm. Inspired he created Dr. Manhattan.

- Comicgasm designed the costumes of Power Girl & Black Canary and hates the design of Wonder Woman’s costume – saying it ain’t revealing enough.

- When the Hulk gets angry, he gets bigger. When Comicgasm gets horny, he gets BIGGER.

- Comicgasm was supposed to be superhero – but we refused to wear spandex. Not because we don’t like spandex, but because we ALWAYS have a hard-on.

- Comicgasm won a hard-on contest with The Thing.

- Comicgasm won a staring contest with Daredevil.

- Comicgasm has retractable claws but no healing factor. We don’t need it. We like bleeding awesome.

- Comicgasm owns Dominic Ochoa’s long lost twin brother.

AND THAT’S IT. I finally know what lead us to this place so far!

If you have any more Comicgasm facts, pls pls COMMENT! XD

To quote this article from ComingSoon.net:

“Samuel L. Jackson has buried the hatchet with Marvel Entertainment, making a deal to play the role of Nick Fury in Iron Man 2, and potentially many other films.

Jackson’s deal is a long-term commitment to play Fury, the leader of the espionage unit S.H.I.E.L.D. His deal contains an option to play the character in nine future Marvel superhero films, efforts that are expected to include The First Avenger: Captain America, Thor, The Avengers, toplining a possible S.H.I.E.L.D. movie, and potential sequels.”

What say gentlement? Is this awesome news or what? HELL YEAH!

How many movies translated from comics, games, old cartoons, etc. has a cast that caters to its fans? Not many I assume.

The thing is, movie companies are always just about making PROFIT! So they go overboard in catering to the target market and thus we have an American Son Goku, a frail looking man as Eddie Brock and Ben Affleck as Daredevil.

And this is why The Tekken Movie BLOWS me away. I assumed an American would be playing Jin blah blah blah…

And I was 50% right! He’s an American-Asian martial artist – which makes it even better! This is Jon Foo as Jin Kazama.

I was with David Nakpil when we checked out the full cast – here are the ones that got our minds blowing!

Cary Hiroyuki Tagawa as Heihachi Mishima – remember the 1st Mortal Kombat movie? He was Shang Tsung. Yes he’s still buff. And yes, he’s much older than that picture now.

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