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If you’re one of those creeps that thought Batman XXX wasn’t enough, then you’re in for a treat! Vivid Entertainment just made a new movie imprint: Vivid Superheroes. That’s right, boys and girls, a new production dedicated in making comic book porn parodies! DREAMS DO COME TRUE!

Stolen from Bleeding Cool: In a press release, Vivid founder Steven Hirsch is quoted as saying;

The parodies under this new imprint will pay tribute to the world’s most popular comic heroes. Axel already started pre-production on a parody of Superman, which will be followed by those of The Green Hornet, Spider-Man, Wonder Woman, Captain America, Thor, and The Incredible Hulk. We made the decision to create the imprint after working with Axel on Batman XXX: A Porn Parody, an Axel Braun Productions movie to be distributed by Vivid. Axel truly did an amazing job with it, and we agreed that together we could mine the really rich treasure of superheroes and have a lot of fun doing it.

Remember what Ade and I said in our Iron Man II review?

RJ: Random thought: They should totally make a porn parody of Iron Man, Lexi Belle as Pepper? Yes please!

Ade: I agree. I can imagine it already: “Well, Pepper, you’d have to know why I’m called Iron Man. You see, iron NEVER goes soft. So yes, Pepper, I am made of iron DOWN THERE! In case you’re too dim to figure it out honey, my dick’s made of iron! Because it never goes soft! That’s why it’s made of iron! That’s they call me Iron Man! Because I never go sof–”

RJ: Wait, what?

Ade: I just realized that last paragraph I’ve written was probably an all-time low.

WE’RE NOW THAT MUCH CLOSER TO THAT! FUCK YEAR!

Can you imagine the horrible/awesome things that they can make?

Superman Comes Again

Fucktastic Four

Watchmen XXX – 120mins of Manhattan’s Penis starring Peter North

STAN LEE CAMEOS! OH GOD, DO IT!

Okay, I’ll stop now.

PS. RIP Frank Frazetta ;_; Good night, sweet prince.

Iron Man 2 came, went, made gazillions of money, made geeks orgasm, and probably left the non-nerd part of the audience scratching their heads in bewilderment. Critics have panned this movie to high heavens, while nerds continued to orgasm all the way to the third viewing. But who cares? Comicgasm editors RJ and Ade weigh in on how awesome or stupid the movie is.

WARNING: this review contains major spoilers for Iron Man 2.

Ade: Okay, so, honestly I thought Iron Man 2 was a tighter movie than its predecessor. It’s got better action sequences, the movie didn’t lose any steam by the third act, and oh my goodness they seem to have an actual script this time. Although I can’t definitely say that it’s a better movie than the first one; there’s absolutely no way any scene in Iron Man 2 can defeat the glorious origin story of the first movie.

RJ: Suffering from conjunctivitis, my eyes were leaking mucopurulent discharge non-stop. I had to force my right eye to not swell for the duration of this film with willpower alone. Anything moderately bright burns my eyes, but all those explosions were totally worth not being able to see after the movie!

Ade: Um, okay, RJ. Thanks for that… insightful and way too revealing bit of information. So if anyone went to Iron Man 2 and ended up with conjunctivitis, it’s RJ’s fault. Anyway, before I go on with this scholarly review of the film, may I complain about Oliva Munn’s cameo? I was hoping that she’d be all hot like The Scarlet Witch or The Wasp, but no, she had to end up as a reporter. Way to go, Marvel, great way to waste talent. What I’m saying, Marvel, is that Olivia Munn needs to be dressed up as a hyper-sexualized superheroine that will claim to be for the benefit of the fairer sex but in reality it’s just an excuse for her to be in a skin-tight latex costume with her cleavage showing for us nerds to ogle at. Mmmm. Tits.

(continue reading…)

Oh look! We finally have a comic review that actually gets published on time! Well, whaddaya know! This has been a pretty rockin’ week, so protect your faces, because Sentry’s going to punch your teeth in if you don’t behave!

And now, on to the reviews! (continue reading…)