Now that the decade is about to end, the Comicgasm staff will walk you through the worst comics of 2000-2009 and why they suck.

Ultimatum is what happens when you get Magneto to reverse the magnetic poles, flood New York, and practically kill half the superhuman population. He’s killing people because A ROBOT WHO FELL IN LOVE WITH THE SCARLET WITCH KILLED HER, SPARKING A BATTLE THAT ULTIMATELY KILLED QUICKSLIVER TOO. Everybody goes crazy and THEY KILL ONE ANOTHER IN THE BLOODIEST, MESSIEST, AND CRAPPIEST WAY POSSIBLE because this is a realistic world and it’s grim and gritty, right? Also, throw in some characters who EAT CORPSES JUST FOR THE HECK OF IT even though they’ve never shown any signs of cannibalism before.

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And then it all boils down to a climatic battle in Magneto’s lair. Wolverine gets to say stupid stuff like “IF YOU’RE GOD, THEN GOD IS DEAD” while gutting Magneto. Magneto survives (he was using his magnetic powers to hold in his guts? I dunno.) and successfully kills Wolverine. Somehow. Then Magneto gets decapitated by Cyclops. Who then gets shot in the head for no reason at all (ALSO, HIS HEAD EXPLODES LIKE CRAZY BECAUSE IT IS A COMIC MEANT FOR ADULTS). The Dr. Doom apparently is the real mastermind behind Ultimatum (huh?), so The Thing CRUSHES HIS HEAD.

Fuck this, I need a drink.

Ade Magnaye

Ade is the hero Comicgasm deserves, but not the one it needs right now.

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Related posts:

1. Worst Comics of the Decade – Spider-Man: One More Day
2. Delayed Review: Ultimate Comics Avengers #1, Ultimate Comics Spider-Man #1
3. DELAYED REVIEWS: Batman #690, Justice League: Cry For Justice #3, Ultimate Comics Spider-Man #2, Detective Comics #856
4. Ultimatum: Behind the Scenes
5. REVIEWS: Adventure Comics #5, Invincible Iron Man #21